Because he has a Hallow Weenie!
Happy Halloween everyone!
I hope you all have a very safe and fun day.
I know myself and this cutie pie will…
(and yes, I’m the nut job that carved the “VOTE” pumpkin. But really? Did you expect anything else?)
Today, over lunch, in an attempt to be less like a mongrel and more like a lady, I went to my salon to get my brows and lip waxed. Because I am The Sensitive, my newly waxed skin, especially my lip, turns fire engine red after waxing. But nothing a little make-up couldn’t cover and back to work I went.
I’m not sure if it’s the dry weather or my blood pumping harder than normal due to the massive frustration of my very conservative and VERY Republican co-worker, but no sooner did I get back from lunch then I got a bloody nose.
This, in and of itself is not a big deal as it happens to me frequently. I guess not only is my skin sensitive but so are the innards of my nose.
I didn’t think much of this because again, they happen all the time.
However…
This one was bad.
And the cleaning lady was in the bathroom.
And it wouldn’t stop.
When it did stop, I was happy.
Until it started again.
With more intensity than before. As Josh was reading from the Internet on how to get nose bleeds to stop (very helpful… except I knew all this) in between Kleenex changes, I proceeded to bleed down the front of my shirt.
And the cleaning lady was STILL in the bathroom.
When she was finally done, I ran in there as fast as myself and my box of Kleenex could get there.
I got the nose to stop, just to notice I was literally a mess. I know its Halloween and all but a bloody shirt is not cool. So I basically had to wash my shirt as it was on me with the theory that regardless of the time of year, wet beats out blood any day of the week.
Oh and because this is MY LIFE, with my lip red from the waxing I looked like I had dried blood on my upper lip.
With a “bloody lip” and wet shirt, I came out of the bathroom feeling like a Super Model. Really. It’s a wonder I’m single.
Fellas, the line starts to the left.
“Hey buddy, last night you were really thrashing around. Kicking your legs and making crazy angry noises. Did you have a bad dream?”
“Oh yeah! I did!”
“Can you tell me what it was about?”
“Well, I had this card. And you cut a hole right in the middle of it. I was mad! So mad, in fact, that I told you I was going to vote for John McCain!”
“Ooh that is mad! I promise I’ll never cut up any card of yours. EVER!”
*With only a couple days to go, I’m so nervous about this election I can’t think of much else. Er, besides Halloween and my Twilight books.
But really, other than that, nothing is as scary on this Halloween Eve as McCain and Palin running this country.
Breathe! BREATHE! I know… that was mean. But it’s true. So after you catch your breath, VOTE!
Princessmikkimoto: Dell? DELL! Are you there?
Dell: …….
Princessmikkimoto: DELL! WAKE UP Buddy! Come back to me!
Dell: Waaa?
Princessmikkimoto: That’s right. Come on back! There you go…. go towards the light!
Dell: Whoa. I’m here. What the fuck just happened?
Princessmikkimoto: Whew! I was so worried. How are you feeling?
Dell: Groggy as shit. Like I was hit by a Mack Truck. Seriously, what the hell happened?
Princessmikkimoto: Well, um, I sort of installed a game on you. A really huge game. Sorry about that. I guess I thought you could handle it.
Dell: And who’s brillant idea was this??!
Princessmikkimoto: Um, you know that short guy with the sticky fingers, plays those loud gun games and kicks you when he gets too excited? Yeah, him.
Dell: Nice one. Smooth move Princess.
Princessmikkimoto: Well, I’m sorry. He was just so excited and he saved all his money for this game. I wasn’t thinking. I did uninstall it though. It’s all gone. Promise!
Dell: It better be! You know I’m not that strong. Damn woman! What were you thinking!? All the fucking pictures you have on me is load enough. You think I could handle that game?!?
Princessmikkimoto: Wow Dell. I had no idea you were such a potty mouth.
Dell: YOU try having a near death experince and see how YOU talk, Missy!
Princessmikkimoto: Ok. Good point. Well again, I’m so sorry. Wanna play Hearts?
Dell: Sure. But not online. I’m still weak. Can’t get on the World Wide Web just yet.
Princessmikkimoto: I understand. I’m just glad to have you back you Old Fart you.
Dell: Watch it.
Sunday afternoon, after being pelted by yet another Nerf dart, I knew I had to get the boy outside to run him.
“Hey Ben! Want to go skateboarding?”
“YES!!!”
So off we went to the Church parking lot across the street. Which is the good Jewish boy’s favorite place to skateboard.
It was the perfect fall day. Sunny yet with that very crisp, end of October air.
It felt so heavenly to get out of the house and away from my continual fight with the laundry.
After the boy got all his “tricks” out of his system I suggested we take a walk. To which he happily agreed. We walked and walked. All the time talking and ranking the houses we walked by as either ”creepy” or “super cute” or “NO WAY!”
The scenery was just ridiculous. The blue sky against the color of the leaves slays me.
Can you tell I have a mad crush on this time of year? I LOVE YOU FALL AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ben and I were so into our walk that when we finally got to a corner, we realized we had no idea where we were. Now Internet, I have lived in Madison for oh, 36 years. Not only that but I have lived in this neighborhood for almost all those 36 years. (save 10 years in Minneapolis but still…)
Granted it didn’t take long to figure out where we were and how far we had walked, but it was such a bizarre feeling to be on streets that I had never before walked. Bizarre in a great exciting way.
As we were walking back, holding hands and laughing at how we could get lost in our OWN neighborhood, I had one of those overwhelming feelings of sheer happiness. One of those feelings that almost take your breath away.
As those close to me know, I’m hardly religious. But Sunday, in that moment, while I looked down at my son, my buddy, my best friend, I found myself saying quietly to myself, “Thank you God for this child. I truly don’t know what my life would be without him and I’m sure glad I never have to find out.”
And to me, this is what Sunday’s should be about.
As I mentioned previously, my addiction for reading has reached an all time peak. Or perhaps I’ve hit my bottom. I absolutely can not stop reading Tweak by Nic Sheff.
Since I have no time for anything else in my life, this blog included, I have a guest blogger today!
See that cute “Barefoot Books” ad below? See? Down there?
Yeah that one.
Well my dear, life long friend Leo (really we have been friends since FIRST grade) is a part of Barefoot Books. Since I also love this company, I was happy to host a banner for her.
As Leo writes:
Barefoot Books is a small, women-owned, independent publisher that creates award-winning children’s books. Barefoot is committed to enhancing multicultural understanding, supporting global conservation, and promoting the benefits of childhood literacy.
I run a small home based business as an independent consultant for Barefoot, while raising 3 young boys. As a Barefoot Books Stallholder, I provided a traveling bookstore (home, school, and community), and an online store for shopping or fundraising. I run a wide range of events including school book fairs, story-time/play-dates, festivals, markets, vendor fairs, expos and home parties. I also have earned the status of Team Coordinator, coaching a national team of Stallholders with their Barefoot Books careers.
At Barefoot Books, we celebrate art and story that opens the hearts and minds of children from all walks of life, inspiring them to read deeper, search further, and explore their own creative gifts. Taking our inspiration from many different cultures, we focus on themes that encourage independence of spirit, enthusiasm for learning, and sharing of the world’s diversity. Interactive, playful and beautiful, our products combine the best of the present with the best of the past to educate our children as the caretakers of tomorrow.
Huh? I’m back on? Shoot! OK, just one sec… almost done with this chapter….
OK! I’m back! So yeah, there you have it. Take a look at her website, buy some books for your kids, or friends and um…. ah…..
Whoa! Sorry! God THIS BOOK! I’m telling you! It’s THAT good.
So yeah. Go Books! And Go Barefoot Books! and rock on!
For a little extra income, I recently took a part time job as a Mother’s Helper to a incredibly sweet woman who is pregnant with her second child and VERY sick. She just needs help around the house a couple hours a week. And not only is the extra cash nice, but I feel good helping her out. I can also bring Ben with me, which having a second job, at say a bar, might be awkward having him in tow.
Tuesday night, as I was upstairs working Ben was tagging behind. Because he loves babies, I showed him the soon-to-be baby’s room.
Ben: So K. is pregnant?!
Me: Yep.
Ben: But her tummy isn’t very big.
Please don’t say mine is bigger…
Me: No, she’s also not due to have the baby for awhile. It will grow.
pause
Ben: Is her baby a little rascal?
Me: laughing. Um, what do you mean?
Ben: You know? Like the littlest pig in the group is a Rascal. Like in Charlotte’s Web.
Me: after much laughter I finally get a grip. Oh honey. You mean a ‘RUNT!’ No, this baby isn’t the runt of the litter. He’s just not done cooking.
Ben: Oh. OK.
As he walks away I can hear him muttering to himself, “Rascal? Runt? Rascal??”
It started out innocently enough. A couple here and there. Nothing serious, just a taste for the stuff. It was just two friends experimenting and sometimes trying what the other one had. No one was getting hurt. We were both still going to work and being productive there. Housework and laundry were getting done on a regular basis. Friends and family were getting the attention they needed and deserved.
But that was then. This is now. It seems dear Internet, that Shelly, my dear friend, and I… well we are addicted. Addicted to… you might want to sit down for this. We are… oh god this is so hard to say. Let me try it this way…
“Hi. I’m Becky. And I’m addicted to reading!”
“Hi Becky!”
It started with just a book here and there. “Hey, Shelly. Read this. It’s really good.” And then she would say, “Hey, I just finished this… you should read it.”
In the beginning it was fine. A book a month or so. And then we got into some Teen Sci Fi trilogies and that’s where the spiral into addiction started with a fevered pace. You see, when those were done, panic set in. “WHAT WILL WE READ NEXT!??”
If that wasn’t bad enough, we then discovered the one thing that will render a reading addict useless. Our kryptonite. Our crutch. Also known as… The Library. And not only just the library my friends, but also the most evil thing. Their website. If you are weak, and don’t have much willpower, please don’t try it without a trained professional. It is like crack for the literary nerd.
Since it’s 2008, all that separates you and the book you want is just a click of the mouse. And In 3 days (OR LESS!) you get an email that your book is in. This all sounds fine and dandy until you hit bottom. Rock bottom in the library sense is bad. It’s ugly. It is what keeps Shelly and I up at night in a cold sweat. We like to call it, BOOK STRESS!
If you think that you or a loved one is suffering from Book Stress please look for the following signs. It is similar to Netflix Stress but much more serious.
Do you wake up in the middle of the night with your heart racing wondering when your book is due? Is it on the “Too Good To Miss list” and therefore, NOT RENEWABLE!? Do you find that the dust bunnies are taking over your house and that your laundry pile is now a jungle gym for the neighborhood kids? Do you bring a book with you every where you go because there might be a minute of time that you could get a few pages in?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, please know you are suffering but not alone. During such Book Stress, things are known to fall apart. Laundry is not done. Children go without food. WHO HAS TIME TO GROCERY SHOP AND COOK WHEN YOU COULD BE READING?! Boyfriends are ignored. At work, we long to be home… reading.
When things get this bad, try to get away from the books and go out to have a good time. Like these two.
See? Look at the good time they are having out on the town.
(This guy’s name was Justin and HE WAS A PLUMBER! So of course I had to get a picture with my new friend Justin The Plumber!)
But wait?!? What’s this!
Oh no! It can’t be! Is that a BOOK EXCHANGE IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE BAR!?
So instead of having a nice night out, LEAVING THE BOOKS AT HOME, they turned this outing into a rouse! An excuse to exchange more of their drug of choice.
Apparently this has gotten to the point where an intervention is necessary.
Which I will get to as soon as I’m done with this chapter….
And not that I want to drag any of you into enabling this addiction but if you have some good book choices, please, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY AND GOOD IN THIS WORLD, ah yeah, just let me know.
