Today, over lunch, in an attempt to be less like a mongrel and more like a lady, I went to my salon to get my brows and lip waxed.  Because I am The Sensitive, my newly waxed skin, especially my lip, turns fire engine red after waxing.  But nothing a little make-up couldn’t cover and back to work I went.

I’m not sure if it’s the dry weather or my blood pumping harder than normal due to the massive frustration of my very conservative and VERY Republican co-worker, but no sooner did I get back from lunch then I got a bloody nose.

This, in and of itself is not a big deal as it happens to me frequently.  I guess not only is my skin sensitive but so are the innards of my nose.  
I didn’t think much of this because again, they happen all the time. 

However…
This one was bad.   

And the cleaning lady was in the bathroom. 

And it wouldn’t stop. 

When it did stop, I was happy. 

Until it started again.  

With more intensity than before.  As Josh was reading from the Internet on how to get nose bleeds to stop (very helpful… except I knew all this) in between Kleenex changes, I proceeded to bleed down the front of my shirt. 

And the cleaning lady was STILL in the bathroom.

When she was finally done, I ran in there as fast as myself and my box of Kleenex could get there.

I got the nose to stop, just to notice I was literally a mess.  I know its Halloween and all but a bloody shirt is not cool.  So I basically had to wash my shirt as it was on me with the theory that regardless of the time of year, wet beats out blood any day of the week. 

Oh and because this is MY LIFE, with my lip red from the waxing I looked like I had dried blood on my upper lip.

With a “bloody lip” and wet shirt, I came out of the bathroom feeling like a Super Model.  Really.  It’s a wonder I’m single. 

Fellas, the line starts to the left.