Oprah I am not.  But I am Princess Mikkimoto dammit and I have some of my favorite things that I want to share with the world.  Or at least the 10 people who read this blog. 

Unlike Oprah, I won’t be mailing all of these treasures to your home.  Sorry, that’s not in the budget.  And also, unlike my girl O, all these treasures are under $20!  So take that O.  I got the cheap ladies version of fabulous things.

The first is M.A.C’s new Pro Longwear Lustre Lipcolour.   Shelly is the one that got me started on this.  She bought it months before me and I would always say, “Are you wearing that Will Never Leave Your Lips MAC lipstick?” 
“Yep!  Put it on hours ago.” 
Brat!  
Because her lips always looked fantastic (yes, I check out my friends lips.  You have a problem with that?)  I couldn’t stand the jealously anymore and finally broke down and got myself some.

Sweet Baby Jesus this stuff rocks.  It’s so pretty with the gloss and the color truly does not move.  I wore it all New Year’s and never had to reapply the color just the gloss.   Which I did in earnest, especially as the night went on. 

My next most favorite thing is the Caress Exfoliating Beauty Bar, Tahitian Renewal. 

I hope my fellow Eskimo’s are reading this because for that awful dry winter skin, this soap can’t be beat.  Not only is the smell amazing (because who doesn’t need some tropics your January shower?) but the exfoliating is ridiculous.  I finally have human skin again.   I am no longer going to get mistaken for a snake.

And finally, if you need a good escape and a great laugh, either buy or better yet check this book out from the library.

Chelsea Handler is one of the funniest women out there and this book doesn’t disappoint.   Is book great writing?  Not really.  Is it ridiculous funny?  Hell! YES! 

Even though I consider myself a fairly humous person who also enjoys a good joke and a funny story, I rarely laugh out loud when watching movies or reading books.  Unless of course my wirey 8 year old buddy is sitting next to me and he’s laughing.  Then all bets are off.

But with this book I found myself laughing out loud.  To myself!  A lot!  Especially at the last chapter.  Folks, that just doesn’t happen.  This book is that funny.

So there you go readers.  Until my next installment of My Favorite Things, go forth and purchase!  Stimulate this economy!

I hope President Obama wrote me into his new stimulus package.

As I have mentioned before, I work with just one other guy.  Josh. 

Being the overly social person that I am, at first this was a big transition from my previous job where it seemed they paid me to talk to my vast amount of friends all over the office building.  

Huh.  And yet I no longer work there.  Odd.

Anyhoo!  Then I came here and it was just me and this guy, who I had nothing in common with, in one small office.

But because we are both just kick ass and the coolest people in the whole building, it didn’t take long for Josh and I to become fast friends.   And it didn’t matter that it was just the two of us.

When he would go on vacation for a week or longer, it was hard but I knew there was an end date and therefore I could handle the solitude.

That was then.  This is now.  When Josh’s back went out. 

Even though Josh is only in his late 20’s, he had the back of an 85 year old.  It got to the point where he would shuffle into work and then have to take frequent breaks to lay on the floor of our office just to get relief.  Yes.  Truly pathetic.

After finally getting to the doctor, they agreed that the only solution for him is surgery.   Back surgery.  With a LONG recovery. 

People!  This means I have been A-L-O-N-E, in this small office for 4 weeks now with possibly 4 more to go!  Clearly this frightens me beyond belief.

Sure there are other people around the office building that I can chat with, but they aren’t My Josh.    Things have recently gotten so bad, that yesterday I found myself very engrossed in another woman’s doily that she is hand stitching and asking many a question about it just so she wouldn’t leave my office.

Before Josh had the surgery and was just working from home, I asked him to check this voicemail since I knew he had quite a few messages.   He emailed me back that he would do that right away.  

So when his phone rang, well, I answered it, much like Buddy The Elf.

“HELLO!”  I exclaimed with very immature glee.

“Um, yeah, I’m trying to check my voicemail…”

“Yeah I know.  I’m just being a brat.”

“Right, well let’s try this again…”

“OK.  BYE!”

He’s going to miss me so much. 

It is going to be a very long winter in here.  All alone.   I think I’d better ask my boss when they are coming to pad the walls.

Wordless Wednesday

One of the things we gave up when we moved was the washer/dryer in our unit.  Now we have coin operated laundry in the basement.

Yesterday the mountains of laundry got so high that even Ben said, “Let’s do laundry today!” with the excitement of a boy with a new puppy.
Since I knew this passion for household chores wouldn’t last, I didn’t think twice before taking him up on his offer.

Down we went with our loads into the laundry room of wonder!  The Laundry God’s must have really appreciated our enthusiasm because even though it was a Sunday afternoon, all the machines were open.

I don’t know if it’s because Ben and I need some more stimulus in our lives or if we both just have smooth small brains, but we got such a kick out of having two washing machines to use and putting money in the coin slots!   I just needed some flashing lights and free drinks and it would’ve been as good as Vegas.

The only thing to beat that was getting to go down again 40 minutes later to MOVE THE WET CLOTHES INTO THE DRYER!   Awww, yeah.  Leading the life of a Rock Star.

After another 45 minutes of me reading and Ben on the computer, he said, “We have to go get our clothes!”
“Really? You think they are dry?”
“Yep! Let’s go!”

So down again we went. Wow!  The dryer was stopped. But unforunately all of our clothes were still soaking wet. I guess this dryer to quarter ratio is a delicate science and one that takes time to master.  

Ben wanted to stay down there and watch the clothes dry. Now, I know we don’t have the most exciting life but even I am not that pathetic.

“No honey. Let’s go back up.”
“Well, we could dance?” my sweet boy said.

Looking down at those huge green eyes and that cute smile, how could I say no?  So I took his hand and we glided and sashayed throughout the vast laundry room floor.  Fred and Ginger, eat your hearts out.

Ben’s laughing and twirling came to a stop as he said, “You do know, if someone comes in here, we stop.  Immediately.”
“You got it!  Until then… wanna dip?”

Laundry has never been more fun.   I can’t wait until next Sunday.

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I have to admit this moved me. I thought it was very sweet, was a great view into life at the White House and of course, it made me cry. 

Well done girls.  Well done.

Last night, after eating some heavenly Chinese food, I was eager to break into my fortune cookie. 

Not only because I love me some fortune cookies, but because these past couple weeks have been so stressful, I needed some guidance.  And if that guidance has to come from flour and sugar folded up like a napkin, so be it.

To my wonder and surprise, I opened my cookie to find not one, not even two, but FOUR fortunes crammed into this sweet treat.

What sort of omen was this?  What was the world and more importantly this cookie trying to tell me?

I fumbled with all the little slips of paper with fervor to see what wisdom they had to bestow on me!

All four fortunes, were the same:

You are the master of your situation.

Whoa.   That’s deep.

I get it, Cookie.  I get it. 

Well not really but since it was important enough to tell me four times, I’ll work on it.

Wordless Wednesday

Hello from the other side!

Holy Mother of Everything Good and Great…. it’s done!

My parents (who were a ridiculously huge help.  Thank you again, Folks!) and I survived.  Barely but we did. 
Friends, let my pain be a lesson to you.  If you can at all help it, do not move in the dead of winter. 

I repeat for those that are slow:

DO. NOT. MOVE. IN. THE. WINTER!

With that being said, it did go fairly well.

The most nerve wrecking part was the move out.  The movers, (Two Men and a Truck who did an amazing job!) couldn’t park on the street outside my old apartment because of all the snowbanks.  So their only choice was to jimmy into a spot between two other apartment buildings.  That would have been no problem if the landlord of those buildings wasn’t a complete arsehole.  He was the kind of guy that if you parked for a second in one of his spots, he would appear out of nowhere like some phantom, to yell at you.  He once even did this to my FATHER!  Everyone loves my dad.  Yeah, he’s that scary. 

Therefore I was literally biting my nails with worry, and pacing in front of the window that he was going to come out and tell us to move.  Not to mention we were blocking in two cars.   Since there was literally no other spot for the truck to park, I was a wreck.   My mother, bless her heart, came armed with a pocket full of cash to bribe anyone who got in our way.

Luckily, all the stars were all aligned and Mean Landlord Man never appeared.  Even the people who’s cars we were blocking in must have had no where to go on a snowy Saturday morning because they didn’t even pop their heads out to see what was going on.

Normally I drag out this moving process because it’s so painful.  But this time, with the very tight schedule, I couldn’t.  It all had to be done in one weekend. 

At one point yesterday, when I was resembling a homeless lady (complete with the mismatched socks and greasy matted hair) and was a sheer puddle of my former self, my mom had to do the Moonstruck, “SNAP OUT OF IT!  We are getting this done today!” shake on me. 

And I’m so glad she did because between her and my friend Darcy coming over to help clean, it’s all done.  

It was painful. 

It was ugly. 

There was many a mood swing and subsequent losing of one’s shit (note to parents: if you are moving, it’s a good idea to have your kid with when moving into the new place.  Having him at a play date the ENTIRE day?  Not smart.  The child will come home to have a complete meltdown as he sees his new “home” piled with boxes and his new “room” in shambles.  Lesson learned for me…)

But again, I repeat, it’s done.

As I was unpacking today, I realized that I’m not the only one that moved this week.  My new BFF’s Barack and Michelle are moving into their fabulous new home too.    I wonder if they want to go to coffee and talk about the perils of moving?

So much new!  New year, new house and a new wonderful President.

Much to celebrate!  Much to toast to!

But first I have to find those wine glasses, which are in one of these boxes somewhere…

Did you know I’m moving? 

I know I barely talk about it.  It’s not like every single Facebook status for the past week has been me bitching about packing and moving.  I’m so subtle.  I hate to complain.  So it’s easy to forget that I’m moving. 

But I am!

For some reason, when I moved into my current place I decided to not throw away anything.  I think I even have used Kleenex from 2001.

This time, even though I only had days to get my whole place packed up, I went through EVERYTHING and if it hasn’t been touched in a year, see ya!

Poor Ben.  I’m constantly asking him, “Do you need this?  You haven’t used this in months!”

“Mom!  It’s a beach towel and my swimsuit.  Are you crazy?  Pack it!  Don’t throw it away!”

“And this?  What is this!?  We don’t need THIS!”

“Ah Mom, isn’t that my baby book?”

Don’t worry, baby books haven’t been thrown but pretty much everything else has. 

I gave six (yes SIX!) of those huge lawn trash bags full of clothes to the Salvation Army. 

I went through every basket, every drawer, every Tupperware bin. 

One basket of crap that had letters from 2004 addressed to Ben from my uncle that weren’t even opened.  Oops.  
And then there were birthday cards from my ex-boyfriend’s parents to Ben and I.  Ouch.  No need for those anymore.

I think my favorite find was emails between a boyfriend and I from ten years ago.  I not only printed them out, but have kept moving them for the past decade.  Hold on to much Beck?   Yep, even those have now been torn up (into micro-nano pieces) and thrown away.

It feels so great to purge all this stuff.   So freeing.  So light.

I just hope I’m able to find Ben’s sandals and goggles come June.

And now my last hurdle is to channel my inner Eskimo and get through this move in these Arctic temperatures. 

Seriously the forecast for this weekend is:
FRIDAY:
***WIND CHILL WARNING UNTIL NOON***
Partly sunny, becoming breezy, and bitterly cold (becoming mostly cloudy with light snow developing late at night).
High: 4
Wind: SW increasing to 10-20 MPH; Wind Chills: -20 to -40 in the morning.

SATURDAY:
Mostly cloudy and not as cold with light snow tapering to flurries; minor snow accumulation of 1-3″ is possible.
Low: 2; temperatures steady/slowly rising into the teens by morning
High: 23; Wind Chills: -5 to -15 in the morning

These temps aren’t just “Baby it’s cold outside.” 
These are “You are on the surface of Pluto so don’t stand outside with skin exposed for more than 2 minutes, or it will turn black and fall off.”

Ah yes.  Good times.   There is the biggest cup of spiked hot chocolate in my near future…

Wish me luck people.  See you on the other side.

Wordless Wednesday