Since clearly my experience with eHarmony has been a bust, it got me thinking.  Granted the subscription was only $30 but think of all the other amazing things I could have done with that hard earned money.  

Please read this in David Letterman’s voice.

Here we go…

#10) could have bought 10 bottles of 3 Buck Chuck from Trader Joe’s.

#9) bought 4 bottles of Pepto Bismol as a result of too much 3  Buck Chuck.

#8) had my eyebrows waxed in hopes of finding someone OFF of eHarmony and not looking like a Yeti in the process

#7) gotten a pedicure for 8 of my 10 toes

#6) bought “5 Dollar Foot Longs” from Subway for me and 5 of my lucky friends

#5) had a 10 minute Psychic Hot-line reading

#4) gotten 3/4 of a spray tan

#3) paid the fine for being late on every single library book I take out this summer

#2) adopted a child from the Christian Children’s Fund for the month

and the #1 way I could have better spent my precious thirty dollars is to have flushed 30 one dollar bills down the toilet… just to see them swim.