they call me “Becky Crocker”
Posted By becky on September 28, 2009
Last Monday was Matt’s birthday and since this was the first birthday we had together, I wanted to make it extra special. I couldn’t just get a boring store bought cake. Oh no. I had to show off my Mad Baking Skills, and let this guy fully appreciate just how lucky he is to have found moi.
Because I am a true giver at heart, I couldn’t keep this creation a secret. Therefore I give you to a step by step recipe for how to make The Best Birthday Cake ever! No need for thanks. If you would like a printed copy, feel free to email me directly.
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Step 1) Prepare your cake according to your late grandmother’s super secret hand written recipe card the box directions. Make sure to start this project at the very last minute. Even though you have all weekend, wait until 9pm on Sunday night.
Step 2) When the two rounds are done baking, take them out of the oven and curse loudly when you realize that you have to wait for the cakes to cool COMPLETELY before you can begin frosting.
Step 3) Pace around the kitchen willing your still very warm cake to cool.
Step 4) Think seriously about putting the cake in the freezer for a few minutes.
Step 5) Get a grip and go play Farmville on Facebook.
Step 6) After an hour march back into the kitchen and say out loud, “Ah screw it, this cake is totally cool.”
Step 7) Take the first round out of the cake pan. While putting it on the cake plate try to ignore the fact that one side defects from the rest of the cake and falls off. Say something to the effect of “Oh my. Hmmm, umm…” but reassure yourself you can “totally glue” it back with frosting.
Step”8″) Begin frosting layer one. Similiar to Step 7, ignore the fact that the moment you even come close to the “hurt” spot, it begins to crumble even more. Continue to tell yourself MORE frosting, when the other layer is added, will help.
Step 9) As if holding a bomb, C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y put the top layer on.
Step 10) Frost both layers of the cake in one seamless motion, blending the two cakes together in a beautiful swirl form.
Beautiful! It worked!
Step 11) Turn the cake around.
Oh. Dear.
Step 12) Add some snazzy sprinkles to the top of the cake in order to distract from the striking resemblance of the Grand Canyon on the other side.
Beautiful! It worked!
Step 13) Turn the cake around.
Awkward.
Step 14) Realize it is now 11pm and there is nothing you can do at this late hour except for create diversion from the problem.
Step 15) Diversion created!
Step 16) Serve the cake the next day with a big smile, a rousing rendition of “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” and freakishly tall candles that when combined with the smart looking sign will dupe the receiver into thinking “You shouldn’t have. No really. You should not have.”
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Ha. That’s awesome.
nice work! i love it. lovely cake stand, too.
You’re my hero! I wouldn’t have thought of the sign but would have gotten birthday boy super wasted before pulling out the cake. Your option was way better!
Nice save! Bet it was delicious. If you don’t read “Pioneer Woman” you should check out her blog entry about the cake her girls made: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/08/disasterpiece/ Enjoy!
Wow – I’m quite impressed! Thank god for sprinkles and tall candles. The sign is awesome – A for effort!
I snorted at “awkward” (in a sing-song voice). It did turn out looking great though! And the sign in like a big grin in the front. We won’t mention the little open mouth behind it.
Hah! Cute! I, too, loved the “awkward” and the sign. Very creative!
You are a domestic goddess.
Hmm so nice of you. However.. you can tuck away your mad baking skills for our anniversary. Perhaps you should leave the baking to your gays.
Oh Becky – I laughed sooo hard at this post I had to read it again after I wiped the tears from my eyes. I could totally hear your voice in my head the entire time I was reading this lol. I’m still proud of you for baking a cake, and for being so creative in covering up the boo-boo’s. Practice makes perfect girl – well…that…and calling in “the boys” for backup!
Umm. Okay. Now I get it. Not so Better Homes and Gardens after all. But so much heart and SO yummy.
But that is one awesome cake disguise. You should work for the CIA.