Dear Falcon,
Hey kiddo, how ya doing? Hopefully you can answer that question without throwing up.
Listen Fal, I’ll make this short since I’m sure you have gotten quite a bit of mail in the past 24 hours; not to mention I know first hand how slow a 6 year old can read.
Anyway, remember yesterday when we all thought you were stuck in a space ship/Jiffy Pop/balloon thing? Remember how I literally felt sick thinking there was this scared little kid being tossed around some cockamamie aircraft 7,000 feet up in the air? Remember how I stopped breathing when that balloon finally hit the ground? Remember how you weren’t IN said balloon? Remember how I was sure I was watching history in the making?
Yeah that was fun. Good times. Because guess what? All the while you were NAPPING! In your garage! Not that I blame you for hiding from your very scary dad. I would too. Hey, good news is in just 12 short years you will not only be out of that house, you can legally change your name.
But Falcon…until then, next time your dad wants to use you for some bizarre publicity stunt, just say “NO!” Little Guy! Just say no.
Oh and also if you wouldn’t mind telling good ol Pop, that in addition to all the other fines he is going to accrue from the Colorado Sheriff’s department, the National Guard and the countless other people that wasted their time chasing a big Mylar balloon all over the Denver area, he owes me two hours of my life back.
Take care Falcon. And good luck buddy!
Love,
Me
Tonight was the night I decided to finally haul up the Halloween bin from the garage. Since we got the “get out of jail free” card on this holiday, unlike past years, the pumpkins and ghosts didn’t come out in August.
When I came into the apartment with the treasure box of Halloween Past, it took my son maybe 1.2 seconds to exclaim with glee, “Is that the Halloween bin?!? CAN WE DECORATE!?!? Now?!”
So out came the Jack O’ Lantern garland, the witch candles and of course the costumes. Oh sweet goodness, the costumes. Ben immediately started putting on whatever he could get his hands on.
It was all a hodge podge until he landed on this:
and then took it off to put on this:
Ah yes. I couldn’t describe this age better myself…
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Click.
In here it’s warm.
Out there it’s cold.
In here the pillow and blankets have all formed around my body like a symphony of comfort.
Out there I have yet to turn the heat on.
In here I have no responsibility but to burrow further into the covers and ignore the alarm.
Out there I have a child to get off to school, a job to go to and humans I have to converse with.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Hit.
In here my hair is just as it should be after eight hours of molding itself to the pillow.
Out there I have to deal with a very weird haircut that is now overgrown thus making it even weirder.
In here I can force myself to go back to the dream where I’m flying over some mountains with my new pretty pink wings.
Out there I have to get into my old car and with it’s old battery and pray it turns over.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
THWACK!
In here I have to pee. Badly.
Out there is a toilet.
In here I am thirsty.
Out there is coffee.
In here I’m getting sort of lonely.
Out there is Matt.
Out there wins.
