Monthly Archives: December 2009
A Letter To the End of a Decade
Dear 2009,
Hi sweetie. I’ll make this short since I know you are on your death bed. And for that I’m truly so sorry.
When you were just a twinkle in Father Time’s Eye I declared you “My Year” and whoa, you didn’t disappoint. I knew we would be close friends but I never expected you to present me with an engraved “Becky + 2009 = BFF 4eva” necklace.
The minute I rang you in, you were a good time. Last New Years was the best I have had in years. Shortly after I moved into a fabulous new apartment, and My President was inaugrated. And that was just the first month!
During you I got letters from lonely prisoners, got my finances finally in order, had a fun carefree summer, and maybe most important of all, finally met him.
And for that 2009, I’ll forever be grateful.
Hey, before you join the other years in Past Year Heaven, since we are so close and all, do you think you could put in a good word with your baby brother 2010 for me? Since I still have bruises from your bitch Step Sister 2008, I think I deserve one more fabulous year. Pretty please?
See ya on the other side 2009. And hey, thanks again! I’ll never forget you.
Love,
Me
merry merry peace and joy…
Wordless Wednesday
The Cart That Saved Christmas
Last Thursday night found my mother and I at the Olive Garden getting a carbo load for our last minute Christmas shopping. I’m so not one of those people who in July finds just the right gift for Uncle Pete and Aunt Sue. Nah, I’m an old fashioned “FORTHELOVEOFGODIHAVELESSTHANAWEEKLEFTWHATAMIGOINGTOGET!?!?” kind of girl. Because if it’s not stressful it’s not the holidays.
We entered the mall with our bellies full and lists in hand. We had gusto! We had spirit! Ambition! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good shop!
The first store we rocked. They were having such amazing deals that if it wasn’t at least 55% off it wasn’t worth buying. $2.97 for an ornament? Sort of steep but OK.
However we soon found that it ruined us for the rest of the mall. $30 for a candle at Pottery Barn! My god! Could Donald Trump even afford things here? $40 for a bottle of shampoo at Aveda? Is your hair made of gold? And don’t even get me started on the Apple store. Genius Bar or not, this girl is not spending $50 on a case for my iPod Touch.
By the time we got to JCPenney’s we still had many a gift to buy but our stamina was quickly waning. It didn’t help that Christmas time equals winter in Wisconsin which also equals lugging your coat, gloves, hat and scarf in addition to your purse and packages. It’s hard. And hot. Even the shifting of arm to arm wasn’t helping after awhile. We longed for a stroller, a wagon or a Sherpa. Or a locker. Remember when malls had lockers? Do they still? I would have given my left hand for a locker to store all my crap. But sadly there was no locker, mule or stroller to be found, so we trudged our way along wondering, “Since when did this mall get hills? That only go uphill?”
When we finally ended up back at the original store, we were so exhausted and even more weighed down by our crap. When lo and behold! A Christmas miracle! Could it be true? Was it a mirage?! A cart! A beautiful glorious EMPTY cart sitting right by the escalator. With a gasp, I grabbed that sucker so fast I took out a small child in the act.
I loaded up my coat, packages, purse and proceeded to head to the “Up” escalator. My mother, already on the escalator said, “You can’t bring that up on this!” With a sly little smile I said, “WATCH ME!” Nothing was separating me from my new beloved. So up and up my cart and I rose. Once on top I grabbed all of my mother’s belongings and plopped them too into the cart.
We were free! Oh the feeling was sheer bliss. With renewed hope we shopped some more. Desperate people everywhere stopped and asked, “Where did you get that cart?” “Amazing isn’t it!” I would reply while placing myself between them and The Cart.
Sadly there is only so much to look at in housewares and kids clothes, but damn if we didn’t check it all out.
At one point I looked at my again sagging mother and said, “How are we doing?” She replied, “This cart is the only thing keeping us going.”
So with that, we took our cart back downstairs (this time in the elevator – who knew there was one of those) gathered our goods and thanked our trusty steed for all it’s help. Without it, Christmas might not have happened this year.
*I hope you and yours have a very Merry Holiday. Enjoy the food, the friends, the family and the time off of work. I’ll be back next week.
