The Ring Bearer

Many have asked how Ben is taking The Engagement.

At first I thought there might be some issues since the morning after the proposal, the boy woke up in a less than sunny mood.  But it turned out it was just a bad morning where I was SO IN THE WRONG for NOT WAKING HIM UP EARLIER! (When you yell apologies they work better.)

I think one of the reasons Ben is adjusting so well is a tribute to Matt and I.  (Dr. Phil says to pat yourself on the back as much as possible)

The truth is, in the past when dealing with men, I haven’t always been good about the speed of things (“Hi, I’m Becky. Ooh I like you. HEY! WANNA MOVE IN WITH MY KID AND I?!”) but this time with Matt it was so dead on that I’m just waiting for an offer from Random House to write my book, “Mommy Found You a Daddy Online.”

From the beginning we have gone at a snails pace, as far as Ben was concerned.  Matt would stay over only when Ben was having a sleep over at my parents.  It slowly graduated to Matt spending Friday and Saturday night with us.  Then we brought in Wednesday nights.  And now, go figure, that fiance of mine is moving in the first weekend in April.

Between the gradualness of this and the fact that Matt has played with Ben more in these past 6 months than I have played with the Punk in the last 10 years, Ben and Matt have become quite the pair.

In fact, last weekend, as a joke Ben started calling Matt, “Dad”  WITH the air quote motion.  He was trotting off to bed, turned around and said to Matt, “Night ‘DAD’!”  Matt and I both lost our breath from laughing so hard.  Now, it’s a daily, hourly, oh who the hell am I kidding, every minute occurrence.  (You tell that kid something is funny once…)

So now Matt calls him “son” – air quotes included.

Although behind all the joking, there is a very sweet serious side to all of this that makes my heart swell.  On Monday night, Ben and I were watching “The Bachelor” (take a moment to judge. I’ll wait) and when they did the, “If you want to be the next Bachelor or Bachelorette…” Ben said, “Mom, you can’t be on that show anymore because of Daddy.  It feels kinda weird calling someone ‘Dad’”
Even though my heart was in my throat I managed to get out, “You don’t have to call him that, honey.”
He thought for a minute and said, “No, I like it.  I just have never called anyone ‘Dad’” before.”

OH! MY! GOD! Queue the tears!!  “I’m not crying, I just have something in my eye…”

So when people ask, “How is Ben taking all this?”  I just smile, think of  “father” and “son” and reply, “I think he’s going to be just fine.”