Category Archives: Becky has lost her mind

Best In Show

September 22, 2011

Who has done an amazing job of not turning this blog into the Tales of Puppy Mikkimoto? This girl! That’s who.

And just when you thought you were in the clear…

Last weekend the family loaded up and headed an hour south for Pooch Fest. (Yes, we are now a family that does this sort of activity and thinks it’s the best thing ever. OK “family” might be a strong word. “I” think it’s the best thing ever.)

Not only was the idea of getting together with a bunch of other dog obsessed humans thrilling but our breeder was going to be there with her crew, which included Eddie’s biological mom (I’m his REAL mommy goddammit! – and yes I really just said that) and his sister.

As all the dogs romped around and played in the city park’s wading pool (this was a city sanctioned activity. We didn’t just take over the pool. But that would have been awesome.) Sharon said to me, “Hey, before you neuter Eddie let me look at him. You know it was between him and his brother on who we would keep to show. I promise I’ll never take him away from you, I just might want to show him. He’s got a great head.”

And then the clouds parted and the angels sang.

People, this was like Calvin Klein coming up to you on the playground, looking at your son and saying, “Before you get him bar mitzvah’ed let me look at him. I might have a billboard in Times Square with his name on it.”

Sharon doesn’t mince words and knows her stuff. Eddie’s dad won “Best in Show” four times and his mom a few times. Eddie is dog show royalty. (although when he’s eating the hair out of my bathtub drain, one begins to wonder…)

Since then I haven’t been able to get the idea of Eddie the Super Pup being awarded a blue ribbon at Westminster and subsequently being on the bag of Purina Pro. So I’ve taken a tip from Toddlers in Tiaras and started to work with him.

Edison, smile for the camera…

You call that a smile?  Let’s try again please.

Interesting but not what the judges will be looking for.  Listen, if you don’t smile big I’m going to make you sit in hair and makeup for another two hours! I need more tongue and more cowbell while we’re at it.

Now, you’re mocking me.

Give me just one great smile and I’ll put away the camera and give you my flip flop.

Good boy.

 

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Becky has lost her mind, Puppy!

This Post Is 50% Off

September 14, 2011

It started out innocently enough. Just cutting a few coupons here and there while often forgetting to take them to the store.

But that was then…

I blame TLC’s Extreme Couponing show for this new me. It’s my crack. And like crack, it may not be good for me. (If I get interviewed about my couponing I’m not falling for that “final interview” and thereby walk right into my intervention. Which is another show I’m obsessed with. Yeah, I need help.)

Have you seen this show? It’s insane. Insanely awesome!

These extreme couponers fill three carts full of mustard, toothpaste and Vitamin Water which before their one foot stack of coupons come to $1,239.87.  However, with a little magic, coupons and sometimes NINE HOURS IN THE STORE, they pay $35. These people have stock piles that would make the Y2K freaks do cartwheels. They could never possibly go through that much deodorant or hand soap in a lifetime. (Many times they do donate things to families in need so don’t be hatin‘)

I’m not that severe in my fifty-cents-off ways, but I have to say, those hauls make me drool.

Instead I have become this girl:

  • I won’t buy anything unless it’s on sale or a have a coupon. This includes clothes and often times entertainment. (Rumor has it I sometimes ask a friend out to lunch at an establishment where I have a buy one get one free lunch…)
  • If it’s on sale AND I have a coupon, the heavens open up, angels sing and my day is made.
  • I have been known to have Matt come to the grocery store with me on double coupon day so we can ring out separately and therefore maximize double coupon goodness.
  • We subscribe to the Sunday paper for the sole reason of coupons.
  • My dad gives me his coupons each Sunday.
  • Sunday nights I cover myself up in bed with coupons.
  • I spend time scouring the Walgreen’s ad and my local grocery store ad weekly for the best deals. And I get them. (Example: Progresso soup – normally $2.09 a can. On sale for $1.00. I had a coupon for $1.00 off of four cans. On Wednesday’s coupons are doubled. Therefore I got soup for $.50. This deal was so good I went back tonight for more.)
  • I never cut coupons for things we won’t eat or use.
  • I never pay full price for a toothbrush or toothpaste. I have a cupboard full of either free or less than a dollar toothpaste and toothbrushes.
  • I may be obsessed.
  • The comment about my Sunday night routine is false.
  • I never attempt to trick the system. I’m a pro at this so my feelings get hurt if cashiers scrutinize my coupons.
  • Expired coupons also hurt my feelings.
  • I subscribe to coupon blogs and websites where I can print out Internet coupons.
  • I haven’t ever had a trip where I have 90% savings but I do have 40% – 60% savings trips most of the time.

I swear I’m not a cheapskate (I still pay retail for my hair and nails. Pla-eeze!) and we aren’t on our last dime.  This is really just about the sport of it.  Listen, if NASCAR is a sport, so is couponing.

Gone are the days of scouring the Internet for a man. Now I’m scouring for $1.00 off a box of Trix. On second thought, that might be the same thing.

P.S. If there are other crazy couponers out there, let me know! Maybe we can swap stories and deals. Or share a cell in the loony bin when our loved ones have us committed.

P.P.S. Who wants to come over for soup?

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Becky has lost her mind, Becky's favorite things, couponing

New (School) Year Resolutions

August 26, 2011

Happy New School Year everyone!

With this time of new schedules, new weather, new scenery, comes new hopes for the upcoming season. Well, for me anyway. New year resolutions are so 2010.

I’m breaking out of my dog days of this lazy ass summer and getting ‘er done. Which means making a list for all to see.

Shall we get started?

1. Try hard not to cry or puke when your baby goes off to Junior High.

2. Try not to think of how bad your Junior High experience was in an attempt to stave off the puking and the crying.

3. Promise your child that just because you and the dog will walk him to school each day you won’t come in with him.  Hopefully.

4. Speaking of the dog, work on getting the beast puppy to stop eating your arm. People are giving you looks at the “track marks” even though you wink, smile and say, “Puppy…”

5. Speaking of walking, get your ass to the gym. Those jeans that are tight ARE your fat jeans.

6. Blog more than twice a month. Your aunt in Seattle will thank you.

7. Remember that guy you married just 5 months ago. Yeah him. He’s cute. And deserves more than, “Matt! Can you please take this dog out so I can clean up his water he knocked over again!”

8. Plan regular date nights with that “dog walker” guy.

9. See that stove over there? Use it for more than a place to put junk mail. Cook food. Remember, take out is not cooking.

10. Seriously, unless you have recently lost your legs there is no excuse for not washing your face at night. On that note, remember to take your fish oil in the morning. Realize that leg loss has nothing to do with being just inherently lazy. Think about taking this nonsensical “resolution” off the table.

11. Stop talking to yourself in the third person.

 

*This post was meant to be published earlier in the week, however the Mikkimoto home got attacked about a brutal stomach virus.  I do a great Linda Blair.  Not to mention the fabulous ab workout.

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Becky has lost her mind, school, seasons

Mikkimoto’s Guide To Home Schooling

February 22, 2011

The Madison teachers are back to work after a four day “sick out” while they desperately fought for their rights against Governor Walker’s Attack Budget Bill.

Even though they are now back to the classrooms I have a feeling that even if this “Repair Bill” passes and the teachers lose their collective bargaining rights, there may be many more “sick out’s” or even strikes in the future.

Therefore I have worked diligently on my Home Schooling lesson plan for my one student, ten year old Benjamin.  No one ever said this Princess wasn’t proactive.

Instead of the basic three R’s: Reading, Writing and Arithmetic; Benjamin will learn MY three R’s: Resting, Retrieving and DVRRRR’ing.

8:00 am -  The day begins with self play as the student will be instructed NOT to wake his teacher at any cost. In addition (See? There’s math!) the student will work on home ec as he makes himself breakfast and brews some coffee for the teacher. Extra credit will be given if said coffee is brought to the teacher’s bedside.

9:00 am – Time for science! Look at that mold growing in the shower.  Let’s see how to get rid of mold.  Put on those gloves and scrub scrub!  More extra credit opportunities if you can make the toilet bowl shine!

10:00 am - Social studies; wherein the student will sit patiently with hands folded neatly in his lap and watch as his teacher makes her way around the social media world.  Great lessons will be learned on Facebook, Twitter and of course, YouTube.

11:15 am – More home ec! Let’s head back into the kitchen to make lunch for the teacher.  The student will learn the wonders of tuna salad, grilled cheese (ooh! Careful! HOT! Physics if you will…) and self reliance while making the short run to the bar behind the apartment for take-out.

Noon – Recess!!  The student will be let out into the park while the teacher works on the first “R”, Resting.

1:00 pm – Recess is over.  Student will let himself in as the teacher is still working hard on resting.  Shhh.  Don’t wake the teacher and you might get an A.

1:30 pm – Economics.  Let’s balance the teacher’s checkbook and see if there is money for Brazilian blowouts and new shoes.

2:30 pm – Language arts; aka Reality TV.  Who’s Strange Addiction will make us the most sick?  What home will those House Hunters pick?  And is that bride going to Say Yes to The Dress?

4:00pm – School’s over!  See you tomorrow children!  Or, um, right now since ya know… we’re home and all.

**please note.  I am in no way making fun of Home Schooling.  I have a lot respect for those who choose that route for their children.  I’m merely making great fun at myself and stating what a horrendous home school teacher I would be.

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Becky has lost her mind, politics, school
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