It started out innocently enough.  A couple here and there.  Nothing serious, just a taste for the stuff.   It was just two friends experimenting and sometimes trying what the other one had.  No one was getting hurt.  We were both still going to work and being productive there.  Housework and laundry were getting done on a regular basis.  Friends and family were getting the attention they needed and deserved.

But that was then.  This is now.  It seems dear Internet, that Shelly, my dear friend, and I… well we are addicted.  Addicted to… you might want to sit down for this.  We are… oh god this is so hard to say.   Let me try it this way…

“Hi.  I’m Becky.  And I’m addicted to reading!” 
“Hi Becky!”

It started with just a book here and there.  “Hey, Shelly.  Read this.  It’s really good.”  And then she would say, “Hey, I just finished this… you should read it.”

In the beginning it was fine.  A book a month or so.  And then we got into some Teen Sci Fi trilogies and that’s where the spiral into addiction started with a fevered pace.  You see, when those were done, panic set in.  “WHAT WILL WE READ NEXT!??” 

If that wasn’t bad enough, we then discovered the one thing that will render a reading addict useless.  Our kryptonite.  Our crutch.  Also known as… The Library.  And not only just the library my friends, but also the most evil thing.  Their website.  If you are weak, and don’t have much willpower, please don’t try it without a trained professional.   It is like crack for the literary nerd.  
Since it’s 2008, all that separates you and the book you want is just a click of the mouse.  And In 3 days (OR LESS!) you get an email that your book is in.   This all sounds fine and dandy until you hit bottom.   Rock bottom in the library sense is bad.  It’s ugly. It is what keeps Shelly and I up at night in a cold sweat.  We like to call it, BOOK STRESS!

If you think that you or a loved one is suffering from Book Stress please look for the following signs.  It is similar to Netflix Stress but much more serious.

Do you wake up in the middle of the night with your heart racing wondering when your book is due?  Is it on the “Too Good To Miss list” and therefore, NOT RENEWABLE!?  Do you find that the dust bunnies are taking over your house and that your laundry pile is now a jungle gym for the neighborhood kids?  Do you bring a book with you every where you go because there might be a minute of time that you could get a few pages in?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, please know you are suffering but not alone.  During such Book Stress, things are known to fall apart.  Laundry is not done.  Children go without food.  WHO HAS TIME TO GROCERY SHOP AND COOK WHEN YOU COULD BE READING?!  Boyfriends are ignored.  At work, we long to be home… reading.

When things get this bad, try to get away from the books and go out to have a good time.  Like these two. 

See?  Look at the good time they are having out on the town.

(This guy’s name was Justin and HE WAS A PLUMBER!  So of course I had to get a picture with my new friend Justin The Plumber!)

But wait?!?  What’s this! 

Oh no!  It can’t be!  Is that a BOOK EXCHANGE IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE BAR!?

So instead of having a nice night out, LEAVING THE BOOKS AT HOME, they turned this outing into a rouse!  An excuse to exchange more of their drug of choice.

Apparently this has gotten to the point where an intervention is necessary. 

Which I will get to as soon as I’m done with this chapter….

And not that I want to drag any of you into enabling this addiction but if you have some good book choices, please, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY AND GOOD IN THIS WORLD, ah yeah, just let me know.