Last Friday Ann and I finally had plans for her to come over and see the new house. It was just going to be us girls and Mr. Wine, until Friday morning (spontaneity!!) when Ann sent her elderly friend an email asking if after the house wine tour would I want to go see this new young country band at a club downtown.
Listen, I may be an old married lady but I’m not dead. I remember how to rock it. I was in a sorority for Christ’s sake. So I quickly replied with “Sure! I’m not normally a fan of country music but I’m a fan of you! And live music. And going out.”
Upon receiving said email, Ann passed out. When she came to she replied, “YOU SAID YES!! I’ll even drive!”
I took this as a sign she was excited to go out with me and not that she was shocked I would stay up past nine. While wearing a bra.
After our “just the right amount of wine so as not to overdue it before a late night” and our “organic grapes with local cheese but not too much so that we get gassy”, we decided to head down to the show. At 8:30. Because the show started at 9. That’s what the poster said and the article Ann READ IN THE PAPER ABOUT THIS MUSICIAN. (Only the geriatric very cool read about shows in the paper.)
Having been to this club before I knew it was small, therefore we didn’t want to get there too late (like 9:05) and not get a seat. I can’t be expected to stand for hours on end. Not on these bunions. (I don’t really have bunions. No really, I don’t. OK maybe just one.)
When we walked up to the club we quickly became concerned as there seemed to be a lot of people milling about outside. Was the place packed already? Was it standing room only? Would WE EVER GET IN!??!
Oh. They were just smoking outside and the club, albeit tiny, was only 1/3 full. We even found seats! Actually, we could have had eight if we wanted but two seemed doable.
We quickly grabbed beers because the show would be starting aaaannnnyyyy minute. It was almost 9 after all. The poster said “9 pm”.
SNL has officially ruined me for sound checks for the rest of my life. Whenever I hear someone “checking” their mic, I think of Will Ferrell as Marty Culp and his “Very hot mic.”
And there were many sound checks. Oh, so many. At one point I thought we came to a “Sound Check” show.
Bobbi Mohan-Culp: Can we shave off some fuzz off the woofers?
Marty Culp: Off the woofers? Off the woofers?
Should I have started swaying back and forth and ignited my BIC when they sang just a bar of music?
With our beers drained and 9pm (the poster said 9) a distant memory, Ann and I turned into Women of The Old Country. Which isn’t a far stretch for any Jewish woman in her 30′s. My back was starting to hurt from sitting on a bar stool, Ann noticed her knuckles were becoming like her Grandmother’s therefore worrying that arthritis would set in at any second, and we both had to pee.
Just as we each returned from bathroom stop number 8, we found musicians! On the stage! Who weren’t saying “Check!”
The only problem was it was way after our bedtime (close to 10:30!) and in between all the yawning, we got the giggles. Which is quite awkward when you’re in a very small space and due to your premature arrival you’re sitting right under the musician’s nose.
So what are two Jewish Grandmothers of the Old Country to do in a situation like that? Tweet! To each other! While sitting 5 inches away!
Hey
@annsrants, I know you’re sitting next to me but remember the time we came at 830 to watch a 9 show and by 1030 we still were waiting?
@princessmikkimo Yes I remember, but it’s given me time to contemplate how harmonica holders resemble headgear.
@annsrants scolosis, Joan Cusack blue grass. Good stuff. Thanks for getting me out.
This guy is just like Dave Matthews! Only with no Dave and no Matthews.
@princessmikkimo
When the Amish Twins and the street performer with the head gear harmonica were done, it was 11:30. Ann looked at me and said, “You hate me. It’s so late. I’m so sorry…” “Stop,” I said, “I’m a horse. I’m asleep standing up.”
The truth is when Whitney finally took the stage, the wait and the bunions didn’t matter. She was amazing! If you are ever in a situation where you can watch her perform, do it. She has the voice of an angel. And the bass player (who’s Whitney’s fiancee) is wicked cute.
Despite the fact that I didn’t get home until 1:30, it was an awesome night.
So thank you dear friend for getting me out of my rocking chair for a rock of another kind. And you really should have those knuckles checked out.
