hair | The Tales Of Princess Mikkimoto

Category Archives: hair

Single In The City – Part 3

February 20, 2009

In an effort to have a Valentine’s Day that doesn’t include a single 36 year old woman spending the night with her parents and her kid, eating obscene amounts of Peeps, I once again have thrown myself into the Online Dating fire and joined Yahoo Personals. Queue the angels singing.

And let me tell you Internet. It has already proved to be, in one word, AWESOME!

Allow me to introduce to you the three fine bachelors who have been courting me as of late.

Bachelor #1 is a 40 something from North Carolina. When he IM’ed me and I noticed his user id was “FaithSeeker241″ I was hoping that meant he was looking for his long lost dog named “Faith”. I soon learned that wasn’t the case after he introduced himself, told me I was beautiful and then asked if I had found God. To which I replied, “You know, He’s just not that into me. Please, take care.”

Bachelor #2 is a 45 year old man who’s only source of income is playing poker. This fella, according to his Facebook page (which he invited ME to… NOT the other way around) goes out more than I did my junior year of college. Which let me tell you, was a lot.
His status updates have been known to be things like “_____ is just waking up” which was posted at 3:31 pm on a Wednesday afternoon. Or “____ is drunk already.” This was posted at 11:50 AM on a Tuesday morning. Isn’t he dreamy?

In addition to his Animal House behavior, his fine fella has been known to wear t-shirts in his profile pictures that say such refined statements as, “Boobies Make Me Smile.” and “Drunk Chicks Dig Me.” I’m sure they do #2. I’m sure they do.

And finally, I save the best for last.
Bachelor #3 is a 46 lovely from Beloit WI. His one and only heartfelt, romantic, educated message to me was “i was thinking you were really cute, until i seen u date blacks”

To which I replied, “And I was thinking you were a real loser especially when I saw that you’re a racist.”

So there you have it Internet. Who do I give the rose to? How can I possible pick between all these great choices?

Perhaps I’ll find another honey when I’m out tonight with My Person. We are going to dinner at my favorite restaurant, which I had to strong arm her into. One of the many reasons she is My Person. But I’m also sporting my new fabulous hairdo that would make Katie Holmes shake in her Scientology Boots with sheer jealously.

So… fingers crossed. Here’s hoping I meet a 41 year old ex-convict, who still lives with his mother and has a foot fetish.

8 Comments - Leave a comment!

Becky has lost her mind, dating, hair, my person

Near Death Experience

November 21, 2008

Today, I was on my death bed. Today the West Black Bird Flu Nile Plague almost took me. I saw the light out of the corner of my eye. It might have been the nightlight in the bathroom, but regardless, there was a light.

A few short hours ago, there was an elephant who took permanent residence on my face and chest. There were razor blades that went down my throat every time I swallowed.

Life, as I knew it was soon to be over.

It’s a good thing I’m a normally very healthy person, because as you can see it’s all about the drama when I’m under the weather. The wimpiest guy has nothing on me. Not only do I have a flair for the dramatic, but I’m the type that will literally walk around my apartment wrapped in blankets clutching my Kleenex and muttering to myself, “Oh my god, I’m so sick.” Really, it’s a wonder I’m single.

Even though breathing through my nose wasn’t my strong suit, my eyes looked like two piss holes in the snow and I could have flown Santa’s sleigh with my big red nose, I still managed the strength to make it to my hair appointment this afternoon. W.B.B.F.N.P be damned! Missing a hair appointment is just something that can’t happen. Was I bleeding? No. Was I ejecting bodily fluids? Nope. Then I had no excuse. Hell hath no furry as changing my appointment with my guy. I might never make it into the rotation again. Gasp! The Horror!

It’s truly a fate worse than having the elephant on my chest never find another home.

Gratefully, I am not going to let this disease take my life. I am rebounding. Perhaps it’s the fantastic hair (the face still looks like shit) or the sheer excitement in me to watch Edward and Bella on the silver screen tomorrow night, but I’m happy to say I’m on the road to health.

Let’s just hope I can get the nose to quit its water works performance so tomorrow I’m not known as Bozo instead of Becky.

2 Comments - Leave a comment!

Becky has lost her mind, being sick, hair, movies

My Sheep Done Been Shorn

September 4, 2008

I am a firm believer in Karma. What goes around comes around. You do good, good things happen. And vice-versa with the bad.

Well I’m not exactly sure what Ben and I could have possibly done to upset the Hair Gods but apparantly there is some big lesson for us to learn and repent for. July was my time for the worst haircut ever and sadly, Tuesday was Ben’s.

Tuesday morning was the first day of school. Ben took a bath the night before and therefore went to bed with wet hair. As it is, his hair is huge and unruly. But add the wet hair + bed combo and it was OUT OF CONTROL in the morning. He never seemed to care what his hair looked like, but this is THIRD GRADE and now it’s all “MOM! My hair won’t go down. OK maybe it IS time for a haircut.” Since he has NEVER uttered those words in his eight years on this earth, I passed out cold. When I came to, I acted oh so cool and said “Yeah sure. Whatever.”

So right after work we headed out to get his hair cut.

This is my son the morning of the sheering:

“What are we going to do today?” the young girl said.
Very confidently Ben replied, “I want a number five.”
“But your hair is so long Benny Boy,” she said as she snapped her gum. “Don’t you at least want a three or a four?”
“Nope. Just a five.” He repeated.
I felt like I needed to jump in to defend the poor guy, so I said, “Really, a five is fine. We don’t want it too short.” I repeat, I said I didn’t want it too short. This is FORESHADOWING people.

So off she went with the number 5 clippers around the bottom. When she was done he looked like he had a bad 80′s hairdo with HUGE bouffant hair on the top and short around the sides.

“Well it needs to be cut on the top…” I said laughing.

I’m not sure what SHE heard but all the sudden, her clippers did the walkin’ and my kid’s hair did a fallin’. She proceeded to use those number five clippers ALL OVER HIS HEAD!

My son has gorgeous hair. Wait. Let me rephrase that. He HAD gorgeous hair. Granted it was really long and did need to be cut but I surely didn’t want my baby looking like he was enrolling in the army!

I was so shocked that I was laughing manically.

“Oh my god!” I half laughed half cried. “Um, that’s SO not what I meant!!”
“You didn’t?” she said surprised.
“Ah NO! I just wanted you to cut it on the top. Oh my god.” More laughing.

By now Ben was laughing too because we both had NEVER seen his hair this short.

After the shock wore off and she was “evening it up” I started to get pissed and sad as I looked at the mountain of my boy’s blond hair on the floor.

And as I was paying, she put the final nail in the, “You are SO not getting a tip” coffin when she said, “Hey Ben! I wonder what your dad is going to think of this haircut.”

I glared at her and said through clenched teeth, while Ben bolted from the salon, “His father is NOT in the picture.”
I mean come on! This isn’t 1942. I’m not wearing a wedding ring. I never mentioned “his dad”. Don’t assume, Chicka.

So now dear readers, this is my son.

Ok so he didn’t age 20 years and he isn’t staring in some TV show on Fox. But that IS what his face looked like when we got home and this IS as close as you will get to seeing what is left of his hair. Why? Because the dude wouldn’t let me take a picture of him. When I asked, he said, “NO! You are just going to put it on your blog.” Ah. Well. Um. Oops.

Now that a couple days have past, we have both come to grips with the new tough guy look and both sort of like it.

But seriously, if someone has an “in” with those testy Hair Gods, can you please put in a good word for Ben and I? Make sure to tell them we are so sorry for whatever we may have done. Our penance has been paid. Please, now.

Let us be.

(p.s. for fun, say the title of this post really fast with a Southern accent. It might just be my new favorite saying…)

6 Comments - Leave a comment!

Ben, hair

And I Thought My Senior Picture in 1990 Was Bad…

August 28, 2008

Thanks to Marketing Mama, I got a little hooked on this site. In fact now I’m searching to see if they have some sort of support group.

Since I’m getting my haircut again today, (yes, same hairdresser. This is his last shot!) I thought I would try out some different styles. Especially since I can’t let “Blake” go out on his own again.

Here I am in 1950:
Aren’t those curls purty?I’m so glad my lace collar is buttoned up tight. Wouldn’t want those nasty boys thinking they could play some back seat bingo with me.

This is me in 1962:
All the cats were so jazzed of my hair do. Do you know how much hairspray I had to use to get those curls to stick?

Here I am in 1964:Don’t you just love my glasses? I think they are so kinky. And I was just sick of the long hair so I went to the beauty shop with some friends from class and got this smart cut. I got a little more risque with my shirt too. It’s almost a V-neck. GASP!