“Hey Becky! So how’s it going?”
“Wedding plans are coming along awesome! Thanks for asking!”
“I wasn’t talking about that…”
“OH! Living with Matt is so great. On Sunday of the weekend he moved in I was giddy thinking about the fact that he wouldn’t be going anywhere that night. I truly love it.”
“I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOUR DIABETES DING DONG!”
“OHHH! That’s right. I’m diabetic!”

OK so I haven’t really forgotten I’m diabetic. It’s sort of hard to with that incessant finger poking and the medication I take twice a day. But honestly, please don’t gag, this diabetes gig might be the best thing to happen to me.

For over a month now I have given up all white flour, all white pasta, white rice, sugar, cookies, candy, and fried food. When my doctor first said, “You are diabetic” and I knew what I would have to give up, I was grief stricken. Now? It’s just my life.  Just like an alcoholic lives without martini’s, or someone with peanut allergies lives without PB&J.

When I pass on the cake or ice cream, I just say to myself, “Sorry but you’re allergic. Can’t eat that.” and don’t think about it again.  I even passed up my birthday cake and instead ate strawberries while everyone else fed their faces WITH SUGAR, FAT AND CARBS! (Totally not bitter…)

I’m hardly holier than thou. I still have some serious cravings. The other night, after dinner out with friends, I would have given my left arm to eat my way out of a vat of ice cream. Instead, I had a Diet Coke and told myself, “This is just a feeling that too shall pass.”

In the past month, I have more energy than I’ve had in a very long time, people have complimented me on my skin, my nails are super strong and growing like weeds and my mood is so good I have even tapered off and ended my anti depressant. Hence why, so far anyway, I can say being diabetic may end up being one of the best things to happen to me.

**And yet…. **

I wrote the above last night with the intention of ending it at that and hitting “publish”.

And then today happened.

I had a mid morning meeting off site. This meeting snuck up on me so I forgot to eat my morning snack.  As luck should have it, the meeting went over, therefore pushing my lunch two hours past when I normally eat. (You think your baby has a feeding schedule, talk to a diabetic!)

Since I didn’t want to eat bad fast food I waited until I got back to my office for my healthy lunch. Very long (and verging on painfully boring) story short, I got back to work so hungry and so shaky I was actually scared I might pass out. For “fun” I tested my blood to find it was 115, which is quite low for me. After eating I felt better on the shaky scale but then proceeded to get a huge headache.

Basically the moral of this story, yes there are many days that go by with no complications where I feel great and have accepted my fate happily.  And then a day like today hits me upside the head and brings me back down to earth to remember I still have a lot to learn.

Including TO ALWAYS CARRY A GRANOLA BAR IN MY PURSE!