Since I did everything aside from marching right into Chili’s headquarters and bonking them on the head with their new menu, lo and behold they got back to me!  Not only that but now they have added their vegetarian menu download right on the menu page.

The truth is the woman I have been communicating with from Chili’s corporate is really quite lovely.  She has been very funny and responsive.  (Notice how “funny” gets the headliner over “responsive”? We know what’s important in my book) This little experience made me realize that we are all just trying to do our best, right?  Although I don’t regret getting on my vegetarian soapbox and calling Chili’s out on their lack of meat-free choices, I also realized, as with everything in life, if I don’t like it I can just think my thoughts and move along.

Before I hitch my wagons get along little doggy, I wanted to give Chili’s their time in the Princess Mikkimoto sun.  So without further ago (or more terrible cliches)

From K @ Chili’s…

I did want you to know that we do hear you and understand your frustrations with the limited vegetarian menu at Chili’s. We do try our best to create choices for everyone – but it is hard to please all diets, lifestyles, etc… We do actually have vegetarian choices on the menu (Black Bean Burger is the most popular) and it isn’t putting any server or cook out to ask for other options. In fact, we hope you ask! We want people to get what they want. We encourage you to ask, modify or do whatever you want to get what you want. And we do even have a “meat-free” soup, but depending on the restaurant/location, some soups are not actually on the menu – they are considered soup of the day. Those are either noted at the front or your server can tell you the options. The reason – simply to regionalize the offerings. Each restaurant may have soups that do better than in other areas. So we let them make the call. The downside, its not always listed.

We did change up our menu recently where our Guiltless items are spread throughout the menu and that includes some of our vegetarian options. Sorry if those weren’t clear. We are taking the feedback in and seeing if there are some places for improvement. But that is what happens when we change stuff up.

And we do have all of our vegetarian, allergen and nutritional info on our website if you ever need anything. Most restaurants have this info in-store as well, but sometimes you do have to ask for it. I know that is not as visibly accessible, but we try to make it available in places where people are researching their options.

Usually, once your inside, it’s better to ask your server. They should know what they have available at that location and what alternatives they can get you. Like I said, some locations have regional menus and some are even franchised and have more variations.

I hope this gives you a little understanding and tips when dining out. If you have any questions, please let me know… Thank you!

So there you have it.  Like I said I appreciate the concerted effort on Chili’s part and who knows what the future will bring.  Perhaps one day I will walk through those red pepper doors and enjoy a black bean burger, Chili’s style.

Dear Chili’s,

On Saturday January 30th my boyfriend, son and I chose your restaurant to dine in.  We had many choices that evening but specifically chose YOUR establishment.  (This information will come in handy later).

Our first (this is foreshadowing…) disappointment was that you no longer offer the “2 for $20″ special.  We got over that piece of bad news and carried on like champs.  But you should really recondisder bringing that deal back. It was a good one. 

The second disappointment was your new menu.  You see Chili’s, about a week ago I decided to no longer have meat in my diet.  I would happily go into the reasons why I chose this way of eating but something tells me you won’t really care.  Some like to call leaving meat out of their diet being a vegetarian.  Ever heard of that?  Apparently not since as I looked and looked at your new menu, I noticed you HAVE NOTHING VEGETARIAN on there.  Seriously, NO. THING! 

I asked my boyfriend, “Hey, do you see anything that I’m missing?  Everything on here has meat doesn’t it?”  To which he replied, “They have salads.”  Me: “All with meat.”  Him: “Well what about soup?”  Me: “THEY ALL HAVE MEAT!” 

In case you guys are too busy killing cows and chickens to buy a calendar, it’s currently 2010, not 1943.  People of my kind are plentiful.  In fact in Madison WI, we are everywhere. Damn Hippies!  Rumor has it there are even people who don’t eat CHEESE! OR EGGS! OR MILK!  You might want to look it up.  Just sayin’…

Because I am a good mother and girlfriend and have a New Years Resolution to not throw fits in public, I ordered a side salad and french fries.   It was a very sad and boring sorry excuse for a meal.

After our dinner I said to our very nice waiter, “Excuse me, do you realize you guys have no vegetarian options on your menu?”  He smiled and said “Yeah sorry.  There isn’t much.  But there is a Black Bean burger.”  I looked at him confused as did my boyfriend.  We picked up the menu on our table and showed him that in fact there was no Black Bean burger on the menu.  “Weird,”  he replied.  ”Well there is a Sweet Corn soup that has no meat in it.”  Again we proved him wrong.  No corn soup on the menu.   Clearly even your servers aren’t aware of your fabulous new menu.

So dear Chili’s, even though you were once a favorite of ours, we will not be returning.   You have the choice to not put vegetarian options on your menu and I have the choice to not be your customer.  

Also you should also know I am one of those annoying “Mommy Bloggers” and I will be cuting and pasting this letter on my website.   I’d be thrilled to post your reply to my site too if you are so inclined to write little ol me back. 

Until then Chili’s, you can keep your Baby back Baby back Baby back ribs and stick ‘em where the sun don’t shine.

Veggie love from me to you,

Becky princessmikkimoto@gmail.com

**I tried to send this letter to Chili’s via email. They have no email address on their website. I tried to fill out the form on their contact page but after many attempts it never was submitted.  So my only hope was to direct the link to this post on Twitter and their Facebook page.  Customer service fail… again.

Dear Veins,

I have a huge blood clot to pick with you.   Not all of you.  Just the ones in my arms.  Femoral, you are off the hook – this time.

Remember earlier this week when we were going to donate blood to the Red Cross and do some good in this world? And remember how we LOVE to give blood because a lot of the people we know can’t give, but we can. We are lousy with the stuff and NORMALLY it’s very easy for us.  And then remember how this time you decided it would be so fun to play hide and seek with the nice Red Cross lady?

Seriously Veins, SO. LAME. 1) You guys are 37 ALMOST 38. That’s too old for such childish games. 2) She didn’t know you were playing so she was all “YAY! I found a vein!” and then STUCK me so hard that I may have cried a little and you were gone.

The Phlebologist said you guys are deep veins. Don’t get a big head, it doesn’t mean you are Bob Dylan deep, it just means you are annoying and hard to find. She also said maybe I was dehydrated but you and I both know that is complete bunk. No one drinks as much water as me.

I know the real problem… you guys have gone soft. Sissies! You’re all “Ooh we don’t want to get stuck with that pointy silver thing again. It hurts. Waaa.  I know, let’s be total stupid scaredy cats and hide.”

Well you know what you stupid tubes?  You guys have it so good in there.  Did you know there are people who shoot DRUGS right into veins like you?  Yep, it’s true. But me? I rock. I rarely poke you, your best friend O Positive is full of iron and don’t even get me started on the plentiful amount of oxygen flowing through you like a river.

Do not even think for a minute that I’m going to give up “Our Thing.” Oh hell no! Guess who’s going to make an appointment with the Red Cross as soon as these bruises on BOTH arms heal?  So stop being such complete ninnies and give it up! There are people in Haiti who need us.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to write a letter to Jackie at the Red Cross apologizing for the grown woman who cried like a three year old on her watch.  It was quite awkward and I need to make sure Jackie doesn’t give up on the good work she does just because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time with a woman who clearly needed a good cry.  On a Red Cross trailer.  Shudder.

Love (sort of, because I’m still mad)

Me

Dear 2009,

Hi sweetie.  I’ll make this short since I know you are on your death bed.  And for that I’m truly so sorry. 

When you were just a twinkle in Father Time’s Eye I declared you “My Year” and whoa, you didn’t disappoint.   I knew we would be close friends but I never expected you to present me with an engraved “Becky + 2009 = BFF 4eva” necklace. 

The minute I rang you in, you were a good time.  Last New Years was the best I have had in years.  Shortly after I moved into a fabulous new apartment, and My President was inaugrated. And that was just the first month!

During you I got letters from lonely prisoners, got my finances finally in order, had a fun carefree summer, and maybe most important of all, finally met him.

And for that 2009, I’ll forever be grateful.

Hey, before you join the other years in Past Year Heaven, since we are so close and all, do you think you could put in a good word with your baby brother 2010 for me?  Since I still have bruises from your bitch Step Sister 2008, I think I deserve one more fabulous year.  Pretty please?

See ya on the other side 2009.  And hey, thanks again!  I’ll never forget you.

Love,
Me

Dear Falcon,

Hey kiddo, how ya doing? Hopefully you can answer that question without throwing up.

Listen Fal, I’ll make this short since I’m sure you have gotten quite a bit of mail in the past 24 hours; not to mention I know first hand how slow a 6 year old can read.

Anyway, remember yesterday when we all thought you were stuck in a space ship/Jiffy Pop/balloon thing? Remember how I literally felt sick thinking there was this scared little kid being tossed around some cockamamie aircraft 7,000 feet up in the air? Remember how I stopped breathing when that balloon finally hit the ground? Remember how you weren’t IN said balloon? Remember how I was sure I was watching history in the making?

Yeah that was fun. Good times.  Because guess what? All the while you were NAPPING! In your garage! Not that I blame you for hiding from your very scary dad. I would too. Hey, good news is in just 12 short years you will not only be out of that house, you can legally change your name.

But Falcon…until then, next time your dad wants to use you for some bizarre publicity stunt, just say “NO!” Little Guy! Just say no.

Oh and also if you wouldn’t mind telling good ol Pop, that in addition to all the other fines he is going to accrue from the Colorado Sheriff’s department, the National Guard and the countless other people that wasted their time chasing a big Mylar balloon all over the Denver area, he owes me two hours of my life back.

Take care Falcon. And good luck buddy!

Love,

Me

Dear Nine and a half,

How are you? Wait, don’t even bother answering that because I know the answer will be “fine.” In all lower case. As that has been your answer for everything lately.

“How was school, Buddy?”

“fine.”

“How was baseball practice.”

“fine.”

“Do you want pigs ears and elephants toes for dinner?”

“fine.”

Nine And A Half, what is your deal? I mean really, you seem so fragile lately. You are like an egg shell.  I say one thing and… OH GOD! I’m sorry. NO, please don’t freak out. Crap. Aw man, I said I was sorry. Please don’t stomp away. I wasn’t being mean, and I’m not mad. Do NOT roll your eyes at me. Going to your room again huh? Well please don’t slam the ….

Um, OK well let me know if you want to talk.

Hey, welcome back. So can I ask what was that about? Yeah, I know you “don’t know” but um, do you have a clue because these moods swings are sorta scary. Are you hungry? Are you tired? Is fourth grade proving to be really hard? Do you have too much going on and we are just too busy? Are you upset because your Mom has a new boyfriend? I know you like him but is this hard for you? Are you ever going to answer any of my questions, 9.5?!

Well Nine And A Half, I hope you know you can always talk to me. I’m really not your enemy. In fact I’m the President and CEO of your fan club. Even if this is turning out to be the worst age since you were 18 months. Ugh! NO!! I didn’t say that YOU ARE THE WORST. I just meant the age. Just the age. NOT YOU! Oh come back! Please don’t cry.

Hang in there Nine And A Half. We’ll get through this together. And hopefully without Social Services being involved.

Love always,

The Meanest Mother EVER!

Dear Summer,
Hey! Where’d ya go?

I just went into my bedroom to change for the big Fourth of July parade only to come downstairs and have it be the end of August. What happened?
Camp is over, back to school clothes have been purchased and I’m registering Ben for fourth grade on Thursday! Not to mention all my library books are now due in September.

I guess all good things have to come to an end but before you go I wanted to thank you for a really great, well, YOU!
Some may have thought you were sort of on the cool side this year but I love the new you. Keep it up! That high in the 90’s with 100% humidity is so 2000 and late.

I know you aren’t over quite yet. In fact I still have this weekend where I’m going to Minneapolis to pretend it’s 1994 and party with a lamp shade on my head. (Yes I really did that, can we move on now?) and then there is NEXT weekend where Ben and I are going to the Cubs game at Wrigley Field.  But you already know all that since you are the all knowing, sunny, warm and powerful SUMMER!

So thanks again, Summer. 

Oh and one more thing, on your way out. Could you please remind Fall to man up and try to last longer than three weeks?  And if you wouldn’t mind putting Old Man Winter in a good mood however you crazy seasons do your thang… I’d appreciate that too. Maybe spike his hot chocolate.

You’re the best, Summer.
I miss you already.

Love
Me

I am a terrible person. I have so much to do including uploading pictures from “BlogHer Madison Style” and posting about it. And of course there is the ever growing pile of laundry and that pesky child of mine that needs to be fed. But I can’t help myself. I’m obsessed. Over a woman no less. She’s just so cute and feisty I can’t help myself.

I love me some Sally.

Have you met her before?

She has this Spa and you have to make sure to make all the customers happy. If you do that you make more money and with more money you can buy new things and with new things you can make customers happy who will then tip you more and… WHOA. Breathing is important.

Because in all true addictions you have to blame someone (right?) I blame this solely on Cousin Sister Amy. When she was here for Camp, she showed me this cute little app on her iPhone and said “Oh have you ever played ‘Sally Spa‘? You have to! It’s so much fun.”

Well then my mother just had to run out and get an iTouch. Because really the poor woman only has one desktop, two laptops, a Wii, and a palm so duh, of course she NEEDED an iTouch. And then once again that Amy girl had to open her big mouth and say, “Aunt Natalie, you have to add Sally Spa!”

My mother did, I played it once and that ladies and gentlemen was all she wrote. The fat lady sang loud and clear. I was hooked.

I found myself asking to go over to my parents house just so I could get my hands on “Mr. Touch.” I fought with my kid on who’s turn it was. Mature Parent of One? Your table is now available.

Because my poor poor mother had no time on her OWN new toy she suggested we buy and download the game on our PC’s. Which was pretty much like taking an alcoholic into an open bar with free booze that never closes.

And that is how, my dear friends, last night, after playing for, oh, I don’t know, one million hours I finally went to bed at one million o’clock with both hands and forearms in massive Carpal Tunnel pain. That’s the downside of being ambidextrous… I was switching between hands, depending on which one hurt less. Therefore this post has taken me 3.5 hours to write because I’m pecking it out with my chin. I have never been more envious of Jay Leno.

Like all obsessions I promise I’ll get a grip. But if I don’t answer your emails, don’t play my turn on Lexulous or don’t come to the door when you knock, it’s because I have 5 customers who are waiting to get into the sauna and don’t even get me started on how many are waiting to check out!!!

Dear Ben,

Today you turn nine.  This simple fact makes me stop dead in my tracks and have to do the math.  How is this possible that nine years have gone by?  It seems like just last week I was changing your diaper while singing “Little Ducky Duddle” where immediately upon the end of the song you would sign for “more”. 

My sweet, funny, smart, athletic boy.  We have had quite a year you and I.  Some amazing and some really heart wrenching times.  Through the latter, I’ll never forget how you held my hand or rubbed my back and said in your most grown up voice, “It will be OK Mommy.  You always have me.”   You were so strong and sure even though you had no idea what was going on.  Someday I’ll tell you what that was all about, but for now, I just thank you.  I thank every day that you are in my life. 

We moved this year and even though it was a really good move, it was hard on you.  Harder than I thought it would be.  Since you have become so much my partner, I think I sometimes imagine you are older than you are.  Therefore, I just assumed you would be as excited as I was and neglected to realize that for an eight year old boy, this was an almost traumatic experience; one where I should have been more sensitive to your feelings.  And for that I’m sorry.   Once I finally “got it” (with much help from your Grandma) I let go of my control and let you unpack your room at your speed.  Which by the way, 5 months later, I think you’re almost done.   Nice work Bud.

This was also the year that you took off in school.  You now read long chapter books with zeal.  You love comics and your Sports Illustrated magazines.  The math problems you do are already over my head.   I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are a better student than I was in third grade.  Just another reason you rock.

Ben, you are the definition of love.   If I had a nickel for everytime someone said, “Ben is such a good kid.  What a sweet boy he is.”  Well, we’d have enough money for many Wii’s.  You not only take care of your little nieces and nephews, you take care of your grandparents, your friends and your mother.   You recently said that you are going to go to the University of Wisconsin for college so you can be close enough to take care of Grandma and Grandpa.  While this notion makes my heart swell with pride, I also want you to know you have already taken care of us all.   In nine more (very short) years, it’s time for you to take care of yourself.  I got this one. 

Also this year, the athletic bug in you exploded.  In addition to soccer (which you have become freakishly good at) you started Little League.  I have never seen you have so much passion for something in your little life.  (Besides perhaps that horse phase you went through at age two…)  You can’t wait for practice.  When practice is over you play catch in the backyard with Grandpa.  When I come to pick you up after work you beg for me to take you to the batting cages.   And as for the games, whoa, watch out.  In your special way you have made not only me, but your Grandma and Grandpa a bundles of excited nerves right along with you.  We are the three that go to every practice and every game.  I will follow you anywhere, especially on this sports train.  But only if you are still having fun.  Once it’s no longer a joy, that’s when we get off. 

You no longer sleep with three nightlights, now it’s just down to one.  That first night when you only turned on one you turned to me and said, “Hey, I have to grow up sometime.”   Well stop that!  Because now you no longer sleep with me either.  Unless of course you give me that sly smile and yell “Sleepover!!!” as you jump in my bed.

To say you and I are close is such an understatement it makes me laugh.  Are you close to your arm?  Are you close to the air that you breathe?  The lungs that take in oxygen?  That is how we are.  And this last year just made it that much more so.   Recently you went away with your best friend for a weekend.  As much as I was happy you were having a blast and I’d be lying if I said being Ben-less for a whole weekend wasn’t sort of freeing, I missed you so much it was a physical pain.   Our apartment sucks without you.  Therefore I have decided that you won’t really ever grow up and we’ll go to college together?  Fun, right?

I know I say it every year but really, this is my favorite age.  It’s one where you are caught in the middle of being a super cool guy who calls your friends “Dude” and yet still the little boy who wants to snuggle with his mom after a bath.   I hope you never lose that need for affection from me or the need to sometimes just be little.  Because I guarantee, I will never lose the want and need of being there for you. 

Happy Birthday, Baby.

Love,
Mommy

Jen: So let me see this famous letter from your prisoner!

Becky: Here it is… in all it’s glory.

Jen: (laughing so hard only dogs can hear her) HE SENT A PICTURE! That is so classic. (after she can now breathe like a normal human) Actually he’s not that bad.

Becky: SHUT UP!

Jen: OK seriously, you don’t know anyone in jail?

Becky: Well there was that one guy and isn’t your Mom in jail? NO! Of course I don’t know anyone in the clink.

Jen: Well then how did he get your address?

Becky: No idea.

Jen: Hmmm. Did you get new license plates or something?

Becky: Yeah, I did! How did you know? They are such a pain to get on because my bolts are rusted and why is Wisconsin sending me new plates….. wait! No way!

Jen: That’s it! They totally make license plates in jail.

Becky: What?  No! Isn’t that just some urban legend?

Jen: I’m totally serious. They do. That’s how he got your name, Lucky Girl. Case closed.

Becky: Wow! You should be like a detective or something… but in the meantime, let’s open some wine.