Yesterday I found myself in the grocery store parking lot having a panic attack. I couldn’t breathe but certainly managed to cry. This was my official pre-wedding-in-the middle-of-buying-a-house-my-state-has-gone-to-shit, meltdown.

It wasn’t pretty and resulted in me leaving work with an incoherent sobbing voice mail to my boss (awesome!) and taking myself to the gym to work out like a contestant on the Biggest Loser. Only I was also Jillian Michaels yelling at myself.

Afterwards I got my hairs did wherein I pronounced my hairdresser “My Gale” and gave him a hug as I said, “This is the first time I haven’t felt like bawling all day. You’re awesome. Keep it up. No pressure.”

And then I started to dissect at my meltdown.

The thing is, I’m getting married. Like any second.

This is ridiculously huge. As my sister said, “If it wasn’t the house it’d be something else.”

She’s right.

Being in the thick of trying to negotiate fixes with a very stubborn seller is more than one should have to go through within a week of saying “I do” but if it wasn’t the house, it’d be something else. Also I’m a tad on the sensitive side. My feelings are always out there. Raw and open for the world to see.

I love Matt. More than I thought it was possible to love a man. I’m 1,000% sure he’s the one, for both Ben and I. But that still doesn’t take away from this day that I have been dreaming about for as long as I can remember and now this day is here. Not to mention the fact that so much of who I was for almost a decade is changing.

From a single mom to a wife.

I feel like this is the end of a chapter. The end of one of the many tales of Princess Mikkimoto. In March 2008 when I was trying to find a name for this blog I considered, “Single in the City” until a friend of mine said, “But you might not always be single…” Which I thought this was about as likely as growing wings.

For so long this blog was my space in the world to lament about every frog I kissed and the struggles of being a single mom.

I’m excited to start my new book. A new tale of this life as a wife (and still a mother). But as the end of every great book I can’t help but feel a sense of mourning to that great story. However hard and scary it was, it was my story. And I loved it.

So it seems fitting that I end this chapter of my life and sign off until April. In fact I’m signing off of all social media for awhile.

All the talk about the injustice in Wisconsin is too much for me to take on right now. I need to concentrate solely on being certifiably happy.

And how to change from the world’s ugliest crier to a soap opera cry. (One tear falls gracefully down her cheek without smearing a single ounce of make-up rather than the “puffy pin-whole eyes with mascara going everywhere, snotty red nose and gasping for air cry” I have perfected.)

Thank you all for your support and well wishes for me and my little family. I promise I’ll be back after the honeymoon with new tales and LOTS of pictures.