Speaking of back to school, if you want to laugh until you are rendered useless, check out my friend Ann’s spot on memory of the first day of school circa 1986.
“You might wear your brand new jeans and turtleneck and wool sweater from the Menswear when it is fall but it is 85 degrees.”
“Ben, time to start your 30 minutes of reading.”
“Wait Mom… just a minute. Can I watch just five minutes of TV?”
“No. Read. Now.”
“ARGH! Fiiiiiiine.”
Ten minutes pass while the child is still in his room, supposedly trying to pick out a book but looking an awful lot like he’s playing with Star Wars dudes.
“Ben! Seriously! Come on buddy. Just pick something.”
“Ok! I got it! Ok Mom, 30 minutes. Here I go. Time me.”
“Yep. It’s 7:04 now.”
Five minutes pass.
“How much longer?”
“25 minutes.”
A noise comes out of the boy that sounds like a cat underwater getting it’s claws ripped out.
“I need a new book.”
“Oh my god! You can’t be serious? What is wrong with this one?!”
“It makes no sense. Ooh I just got Beast Quest. I’m so going to read now.”
Seven minutes pass.
“Am I done noooow?”
“Ah, no. You have 15 more minutes.”
“WHAT!? No way! Ugh! I can’t do this…”
“Yes you can. Why don’t I sit with you and I’ll read too. That will help. Right?”
Seven more minutes pass and the child looks longingly at his mother like Puss ‘n Boots from Shrek. “Done? Yet?”
“Nope. Five more minutes.”
Groan. Moan. Grumble. Followed by “reading” but now there is loud mumbling and so much foot movement he’s basically running while sitting on the couch.
“OK! You know what!? Time’s up! We’ll round it up tonight.”
Ah yes, can’t wait for the joy of tomorrow night.
How many days left of this school thing?
Wordless Wednesday
