Dear Companions of the Road,

How is everyone on this cold winter day?

Please tell me you aren’t reading this whilst driving. You have enough problems behind the wheel without reading this letter while in motion.

So… it’s winter. In Wisconsin. With snow. And ice. Who knew?

Driving is scary. Oh so scary with the snow. And the ice. And the cold. Who can drive in all this cold?

Madisonians. My dear friends, unless you arrived here from Egypt yesterday with your previous “car” being a camel, you have no excuse for the inching along you call driving.  Does your speedometer even register that speed?

I know it snowed on SUNDAY, Lovies and that was terrifying with all that WHITE STUFF FALLING FROM THE SKY! But it was less than 10 inches. And five days ago.

A truly traumatic experience being that it’s Wisconsin and again, who would have thought it would, ya know, SNOW IN DECEMBER?! But I’m asking you to reach into the depths of your soul and grab your inner most strength, conquer that fear and DA-RIVE!!

You see, some of us have places to go, with specific times we need to be there. Communist in nature but that school place has what they call a “start time” and my work? Also with the “start time”.

Clearly this point is lost on you, Driver, who sees a patch of something up ahead and brakes. Hard. Could that be snow!? IS THAT ICE?! Oh, silly me it’s just a sheet of paper in the road. But I better slow to 3 MPH JUST. IN. CASE.

Are you one of those drivers who panics before a hill. A HILL! In which snow once was. Five days ago! Perhaps I should slow down, ON THE HILL. Snow might develop again at any moment. Can never be too careful.

Does the narrowness of city streets due to the snow mountains on either side send you into a panic? Do you rectify this anxiety by saying “screw that lane thing, I’m driving down the middle!”
Yes, the snow piles are sort of like monsters who will eat you alive if you get too close to them, but if you sing Frosty the Snowman at the top of your lungs (preferably with your window open so the snow can hear) and move OVER to your side of the street, the snow mounds won’t get you. Promise. Try it. Please.

And to the woman who was WRAPPING PRESENTS IN THE BACKSEAT OF HER CAR WITH THE DOOR OPEN on one of those said narrow streets, perhaps you could find a better spot to wrap. Just a thought.

My dear Madisonians, it’s quite early in the the season.  In fact Winter doesn’t officially start until next week. I have a feeling we’ll be getting even more snow. And ice. And cold.

So please, I implore you, GET A GRIP, some winter driving therapy, or four wheel drive.

Until I see you on the roads again,

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
And please don’t forget the gas pedal on the right.

Hugs and kisses,
Me