The Walk

In hindsight the argument was petty and small.

In hindsight, aren’t they always?

But at the time, it was a huge deal. Such a big incident that the only way to tuck my nerve ends back in was to lace up my shoes and walk.

It had been raining for days on end. When it wasn’t raining it was still cold and cloudy. Some people aren’t affected by the weather. I’m not one of those people. Maybe Mother Nature and I are on the same cycle but I feel how the weather looks.

Especially in the summer when it’s supposed to be sunny, endless days of rain wear on me. Perhaps that was the catalyst that made the petty and small things into a full blown fight.

As soon as I got outside the sun came out, as if Mother Nature herself was saying, “I’ve been in a bad mood too. Let’s get over this together.”

The world was still very damp and smelled like the musty basement of an old house.

As I began to build up my speed, I found “Ben’s Rockin’ play-list 2″ on my iPod. I smiled (in what seemed like the first time in a long time) wondering what happened to “Ben’s Rockin’ Play list 1″ which was nowhere to be found.

I turned the volume all the way up, perhaps making me just a little more deaf, but the barrier to the world was just what I needed.

I walked into a neighborhood I hadn’t yet walked as a man was struggling with, what I assumed was a huge dog or bear but was blocked by a tree. Only to walk by and see a fluffy white animal that could have been mistaken for one of Ben’s stuffies. The man smiled and said something to me but with the Black Eyed Peas singing at the top of their lungs about how tonight’s going to be a good night, I just smiled and kept walking.

After thirty minutes the endorphins kicked in. With the sun still shining and my favorite natural chemical flowing freely the argument suddenly seemed not only petty and small but laughable.

In my new found happy-clarity world, I realized that I am not exactly a treat. I am passionate, I am fun but lord knows I can be moody and bossy. One might also say I have a tendency to overact. Sometimes. Therefore, this new life of mine that includes exercise will help me (and those I live with) in more ways than one.

As I got a couple blocks from home, I didn’t want to stop. So instead I took a right turn and went down to the lake. A few minutes to stand at the edge of the water and just stare at the receding clouds was the icing on top of my very successful “Time Out.”

When I finally turned around, sun on my face, I practiced my “I’m sorry…” speech as I headed for home.