May your menorahs burn bright, may your latkas be crisp and may you beat all your little brothers, sisters and cousins at dreidel.

Twas the night before a snow storm, when all through the city
Many a plan was cancelled, which was such a pity.
The snow plows were waiting in the garages with care,
In hopes that Blizzard 2008 soon would be there.

The children were dusting and waxing their sleds,
While visions of a Snow Day danced in their heads.
With Ben in his jammies, and I on the ‘puter,
We sat and we waited, and couldn’t be cuter.

When on the TV there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my Facebook to see what was the matter.
Away to the living room I flew like a flash,
To watch the weather reporter with the really bad mustache. 

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a snow emergency in Madison.  Oh my!  Oh dear!
Eight inches! Nine inches!  When would it stop?
I sure hoped the news anchor’s head would not pop!

With a little old snowflake, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment this storm made me sick.
More rapid than eagles my curses they came,
I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Goddamnit!  No More!  You Son of a Bitch!
I Can’t Stand This Winter You Evil Old Witch!
Snow on the top of the porch! On the top of wall!
Now melt away! Melt away! Melt away all!”

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The hail and the ice.  It was all of the proof.
As I looked out the window and saw the snow shine,
I went to the kitchen to pour some more wine.

The piles of snow came down in huge clumps,
With a realization of this storm, on the couch I did flump..
But my son was quite happy and had a big grin
As he exclaimed to his mother, “Don’t worry, we’ll stay in!”

He put on his Santa hat and looked like an elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

I gave into the storm and turned on the fire,
While Ben continued to bound.  Would this boy ever tire?
But soon he too was swayed by the notion and theory,
That there would be no school tomorrow, which made him so cheery.

So no homework was done and no lunch was prepared.
And for me, perhaps even work might be spared.
So Mother and Son exclaimed with all of their might,
“Happy Snow Day to all, and to all a good-night!”

Wordless Wednesday

The other day as I was leaving work, I got on the elevator with a man I hadn’t seen in the office before.

We were doing the classic idle chit chat as we were riding up.  But when we got close to my floor he paused, and said randomly, “You smell really good.”

I muttered an embarrassed chuckle of, “Thanks.”

And as the doors opened up on my floor he said, “It was a pleasure riding the elevator with you.”

I laughed out loud as I walked away because it was by far the oddest compliment I have gotten in a long time.   I have been told before that I smell nice (thank God!) but I don’t think I have never been the reason someones elevator experience was a pleasurable one.

I’m just glad I chose to wear my Bath and Body Works Midnight Pomegranate body spray that morning instead of my Old Guy Who Just Ate Five Hot Dogs Drank Four Beers and Walked Up Five Flights of Stadium Stairs cologne. 

I remember the internal struggle that morning of which scent to go with, but I think, in the end, I made the right choice.

Friday night, Tammy and I once again convened at The Boys place for Movie Night #2.   After our inaugural Movie Night of Mommie Dearest, this was going to be hard to top.

But of course, I’m dealing with Joe and Jason.  Therefore not only was ”Mommie Dearest” night beat, this night was OVER the top.

When I first walked into their house, my eyes were gravitationally pulled to this fine specimen.  I took in a sharp intake of breath as I wondered, “What the hell is this thing?!” 
Was it an alien pod?  A very fancy new antenna?  Or was it, perhaps, their Christmas Tree?

Only these two could pull this off. 

When I asked Jason which Christmas tree farm they went to to chop down this beauty, to my surprise he didn’t say Dr. Seuss’s own private stash.  No, he replied with, “eBay.”  Interesting.  Next year perhaps my dad, Ben and I will search out that eBay Tree farm.

At one point, as I was taking a picture of this amazing tree, Joe got a little twinkle in his eye.  “Um Becky?”  he asked, “Since our camera isn’t working, would you mind if Jason and I changed into the outfits we are wearing for a Christmas party tomorrow night and taking our picture?”   As I chuckled I said, “Of course!  Go change.  But you do realize that if you weren’t already gay, this would make you SO gay!”

I must say, they make a very cute, beautiful, happy couple:

Take THAT Prop 8!

What is a movie night without copious amounts of food?  It’s a failure!  So we all brought a little something to share.

I slaved ALL day with my friend Joe to make something just right for my dear friends.  No, not Jason’s Joe.  My Joe.  He’s a Trader.  He’s originally from California but thankfully came to Madison last summer and I have been so happy ever since. 

Anyway, he helped me make all these wonderful little desserts, put them in their own little paper cups and even gave me a great little carrying case for them.   Thanks again Joe!  They were swell.

Because not only was this our Movie Night, it was also a Holiday Celebration, Jason went out of his way and made mulled wine.   From scratch! 

Since it was such a labor of love and did smell wonderful, in one fast motion, I grabbed my mug and took an instant big swig.  And then I immediately set it down.  Where it sat untouched for the rest of the night and perhaps for the rest of my life.  I didn’t care for it.   Which is the very mature way of saying, it was like drinking hot NyQuil.  But really such a sweet gesture. Thanks Jay!

When we could finally stop gabbing enough to concentrate on our movie, we put in Little Britain.  Oh dear God… if you have never seen this show, which is now on HBO, it’s a must see.  Er, although I highly recommend having as much alcohol in your system that is legally allowed and no parental units around.  

It is hilarious but so bizarre and at times very uncomfortable.  There were a couple skits where I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.  And trust me, I’m not normally easily embarrassed. 

All in all it was a great night! 

Nothing says “Happy Holidays” like psychedelic Christmas trees, drinking hot cough syrup and watching really uncomfortable very inappropriate British humor with great friends.

IS A DSL MODEM THAT WORKS!!!!

Mine died on Monday.  Just died.  Buh bye modem.  Thanks for the time we had together.  May you rest in peace.

My internet provider was understanding and sent one out right away.  It actually did arrive yesterday but since I wasn’t there, because WEIRD!  I work!  THE MAILMAN DIDN’T LEAVE IT!  

Instead he left one of those evil notes that basically say “Nah nah nah… I was here and you weren’t so you lost out and I still have your modem…”

So this morning I left a sweet little note on the door that went something like this:

“Hi Mr. UPS Man.  Happy Holidays.  If you know what’s good for you and don’t want a lump of coal in your stocking, for everything that is good and holy in this world, LEAVE THE MODEM AT THE DOOR! I MEAN IT!  Leave the modem and slowly walk away from the door.  Thank you and again, Happy Holidays.”

Now everyone please close your eyes and pray for a Christmas miracle that Princess Mikkimoto and her youngster are once again roaming the great halls of the World Wide Web at 6pm CST tonight.

Otherwise for the fourth night in a row we will be forced to TALK to each other and read books.

Wordless Wednesday

Dear Winter,

Hello.  We meet again.

I’m sure you are very pleased with yourself.  It’s so like you to not only come early to the party (you aren’t supposed to start until December 21st.  Just sayin’…) and come with such gusto.  Really?  Did you really need to use every trick you had yesterday? 

You had it raining, and then snowing and then my favorite… raining ice.  I especially loved coming out of work yesterday afternoon to find my car an ice sculpture.  A beautiful ice castle with wheels.  I could make out your laugh, Winter, when you realized that not only had I forgot my gloves but this Midwestern girl didn’t even have an ice scraper.  

It started to rain harder when I took out a CD case to scrape off the windshield.  And I’m fairly sure that was you laughing to tears.   (p.s. Thank you Norah Jones.  Excellent job chipping off the 4 inches of ice on all my windows.  Atta girl!)

And today you are SO proud of yourself I bet.  Get all the kids in Madison on your side with a snow day.  Yes my kid was over the moon this morning as he packed his boots and snow pants for Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  But is 10 inches of snow REALLY necessary? 

This sure doesn’t make for us ADULTS, who still have to show up for work and shovel the crap, get on your good side.   Wait?  Do you even HAVE a good side?

I’d like to take a moment to make a special shout out to Blade.  Without you Buddy I wouldn’t be here right now.  You, in the winter, is the reason I refuse to get a new car.  My son doesn’t call you Blade for nothing.  Thanks man.

So Winter, with your storm lasting until 9 pm tonight, all school cancelled, some businesses cancelled, many a person breaking their back to shovel out the stuff, I hope you are proud of yourself. 

And so help me, if you don’t allow the pizza delivery guy to get here today, I will personally be talking to Mother Nature about your very inappropriate attitude.

I’m sure this won’t be my last letter to you this year.  Seeing as how we are stuck together for another 5 months.   Sorry… I just puked all over this letter.  My bad.

Until then… go stick your tongue on a flagpole!

Me

I had a weekend full of plans.  Sadly most all of it was cancelled due to illnesses of some kind.  Including it hitting the Mikkimoto home and me staying home with Ben on Friday.

The worst of it though, was that my mom and I were headed down to Chicago on Sunday to visit my sister and her adorable seven kids.  There is nothing better than walking into her house and seeing 14 little eyes staring down the stairs at us.   With 7 smiles and 7 wiggly bodies.   All knocking over their little sister or brother trying to get a better look.

But sadly, that image will have to stay in my head.  It seems a stomach flu has ravaged their happy home, with my brother in law getting it last. 

Nothing says “We are so glad to see you, thanks for letting us stay!” by kicking the sick guy out of his own bedroom. 

So Sunday morning I woke up to a totally free day.  Laundry had already been done.  House had already been cleaned.   What to do?

Therefore I spent the day totally emerged in this:

Eating plenty of these:

and at the end, relaxing in front of this:

Including my friend Kim saving me from the throws of mania boredom on Saturday night with Chinese food and wine, it turned out to be a pretty good weekend.

But Sickness, next weekend is ALL mine!  You get to stay home this time!

Saturday night I met Shelly downtown for a mutal friend’s birthday party.

There was a girl in the group who looked so familiar but I couldn’t place her.  It was driving me crazy!

Me: I know that girl from somewhere.

Shelly: Well she has hung out with us at Badger games.

Me: No… I don’t think that’s it.  Is she from Madison?

Shelly: Yeah, but she’s super young.  Like 24.

Me: Huh.  Maybe I used to babysit her. 

This revalation made Shelly almost spit her beer across the bar.

Me: No really.  It’s like I remember her being young.  I think maybe I really did sit for her.  You know… I should go up to her and say “Would you do me a favor and say, ‘What time are my parents coming home?’ or ‘I want another cookie?!’  I think I know you from somewhere and just want to be sure.”

Because I like being out in public with my friends, I did not go up to this girl and request her to speak.  But I so wanted to.  

And I think I’m on to something here.  I should write a book about this!  Be on Oprah!  Make millions!

The next time you see someone who looks familiar but you just can’t place them, go up and ask them to do something that will jog your memory. 

Perhaps they need to yell something at you. 

Maybe a make-out session is in order. 

Or in my case I might ask a guy who looks familiar, “Hi, will you do me a favor?  Yeah, I think we know each other but I’m not sure where I know you from.  So could you please say to me in your most sincere voice, ‘I’m sorry.  It’s not you.  It’s me.  This is just a bad time for me right now.  Please don’t call me again.’”